20 April 2012 @ 02:35 am
Abiding the Storm  
Title: Abiding the Storm
Length: 1/5
Pairing: Changmin/Yoona (SNSD)
Rating: R
Warnings: angst, dark
Genre: romance, dark, au -strongly inspired by Kowloon Walled City
Disclaimer: this is pure fiction. I don't make any profit with this.

author: [livejournal.com profile] abcdefghiluvyou


Summary: "They grew up together, the only children in their gigantic apartment-complex, always together day and night. In the darkness and dirt that was their colorless and concrete-build world, they shared their whispers and tears while they roamed through the endless floors and levels of the monstrous city-complex they called home."

Abiding the Storm


Changmin was Yoona's world, painful colors and sound.

They grew up together, the only children in their gigantic apartment-complex, always together day and night. In the darkness and dirt that was their colorless and concrete-build world, they shared their whispers and tears while they roamed through the endless floors and levels of the monstrous city-complex they called home, far away from the indifferent eyes of their parents.

They were alone- only had each other to depend on, but it was enough to fill everything their lives were missing. Life was tough were they came from, and they both considered themselves lucky to have a companion through it to make everything better -at least enough to see every obstacle as one grand adventure.

They grew up with only a few words and names filling the silence of their world. Changmin was the world for Yoona after all and Yoona was everything Changmin felt was good and needed, she was everything that was missing, everything taken from the world he was living in.

It wasn't as if they were ignorant, just blissfully oblivious. In a world without names and stories, they grew up not knowing the name of the city they lived in. They didn't know that there was a world filled with people talking in whisper-low voices about it behind hands clapped over busy mouths far behind the horizon of the endless concrete. The labyrinth of endless, grown together and desolate apartment complexes, gigantic enough to swallow up the faint sources of stray-light faintly falling through the narrow alleys in between was all they knew, and a world with vastness and open horizons was something neither could imagine.

They didn't know any better and that was why they weren't missing anything. The countless floors of the sky-scraper high apartment ruins were their playground and every dangerous obstacle a test they dared each other to pass. Yoona's small form would bravely cling onto every gap in the cracked walls when balancing herself along the outlines of an corridor to cross gaping holes on the floor and Changmin's feet would slip occasionally on old staircases giving away under his weight, parts of the brittle concrete crumbling and then falling down all the floors to hit the ground-level of their world, but they couldn't see the danger of it. After all they knew since the day they were born that their world was a permanently lurking predator with it's ever observant eyes wide open, watching each and every of their steps - waiting for them to slip and fall down into it's wide-open pharynx.

With their mouths twisting into excitement-shocked smiles they'd look at each other whenever passing their little tests: whenever Yoona would reach the other end of a corridor unharmed and whenever Changmin would jump from crumbling down stairs onto solid ground. Eyes huge and curious, they'd stretch their pale necks to watch the heavy pieces of concrete hitting the ground of their world so many many floors bellow.

Neither Changmin, nor Yoona had an idea of what the ground level looked like and they were forbidden to wander too far down the apartment complexes to find out. It was the one and only rule their parents ever made them promise to follow and the children vowed to obey it, afraid of the invisible demons and monsters lurking in the shifting wads of grey -an impervious fog swallowing up the nether floors up to the tenths levels of the city-complex. The only times they had hopes to catch a glimpse of how the ground looked like was whenever parts of the old and brittle ruins gave way to fall down, cutting through the smoky air of the ground levels and leaving a fleeting path for their curious eyes to follow down.

Level zero though, was so far down that even though they narrowed their eyes into tiny slits and stretched their necks until they heard their bones cracking they weren't able to see it. The darkness out of which the gigantic apartment complexes seemed to grow out from was too deep, blurring and twisting in front of their tense eyes and neither Yoona, nor Changmin was able to make out anything.

Curiosity ate them up from the inside, but Changmin would always pull Yoona's pale arms whenever the girl cheekily suggested to take one too many staircases downwards. She'd pout at him and beg him to tip toe downstairs with her - only one more floor, Minnie -but he'd stubbornly shake his head no, grabbing the girl with his bony arms and hugging her so tightly to his chest that she wouldn't be able to move. Only when she'd still in his arms and timidly call out his name again he'd let go of her, fingers brushing away strands of her hair from her face and caressing his thumbs over her heated cheeks.

Yoona was after all, all Changmin had, his whole world, his light and instinctively he knew he needed her safe. So they stayed on the upper floors, unreachable from what they promised their parents to stay away from.

Some days Changmin and Yoona got lost in the vastness that was their world even though they were forbidden to walk the underground levels. There were days they would lose their way back home, their feet carrying them through endless hallways, up and down countless stairways, concrete walls cracked and grout crumbling with silent hisses, while they balanced their way on the tip of their toes on the breaking stairs. Sometimes they started their journey through the complex -a filthy, ugly, almost walled city, build from seemingly one massive and gigantic block of concrete- and wander for weeks before finding their way back home. It was as if the city was expanding by itself, a restless monstrosity growing as it sucked its residents energy while they were crawling through its intestines. On their way through different hallways, corridors and levels, both children held their hands to comfort each other, eyes searching up the concrete and heads tilted to listen to the city moaning and whining, grumbling and cracking.

They were never afraid though. Changmin found strength in the way Yoona's small body leaned closer to his own at night and the young girl felt safe and warm in the older boy's embrace.

Night fell and swallowed up the bleak grey of the day and they looked up through the gaping holes of the concrete ceiling on the top floors. The sky was lit with stars, a whole galaxy dancing gracefully for them to watch and they stretched their bony arms, fingers twitching while trying to reach out for them.

'What will you do with it if you ever get hold of a star, Minnie?' A shushed whisper in the night.

Changmin pursed his lips and titled his head, thinking carefully before turning back to Yoona. The silence between them stretched as the young boy only looked thoughtfully at his best friend, the girl chewing patiently on her lower lip while leaning closer to Changmin's warmth.

'I'm not sure... I guess it depends.' His voice was soft, just as his eyes as he smiled at her. 'Do you think it's possible to make it stay here when the night ends?'

Yoona thought hard about that question, her fingers tightening in Changmin's worn-out shirt while she felt her body falling into a drowsy peace. She had her eyes half closed when Changmin squirmed into a more comfortable position on the concrete floor, pulling her close to himself and on top of his lap to have her safe and warm.

'...Yoong?' He whispered, his voice a silent prayer in the motionless night.

She was too sleepy to answer his call with more than a soft hum. It seemed to satisfy him though as she felt soft fingertips gently running through her long and disheveled hair, catching on knots every now and then, but carefully caressing around them to avoid hurting her.

'I'd try to press it inside of you.' Changmin's voice was sleepy, a dozing shift of air. 'Do you know it's always night inside of us...? -I'd make that star shine bright inside you, Yoona.' A small yawn, before his voice continued to tell her, now barely audible through the buzz of the universe: 'Then I won't lose you, never. Not even in the dark of the night.'

It was a secret, Yoona's one and only she kept from Changmin, that in the dead of night she was the one to hold his hand and press little lightnings of fire bursting in her chest with her pulsing lips against his cold skin. That light, Yoona knew, was not the star Changmin wished to keep inside of her- it was the soft glow flickering beside her heart, quickening her breathing and heating up her cheeks whenever Changmin took her hands and kept her safe. It was the warmth of something beautiful growing and blossoming inside of her and it felt only right to Yoona to return some of it to Changmin. It was her lovelight, she understood, which whenever she leaned close to his sleeping form and softly pressed a kiss to his lips, would flicker gently between their close forms while soundlessly seeping under Changmin's skin to make him glow from the inside through the dark. She wouldn't need a star, Yoona thought, to find Changmin should she ever happen to lose him.


When they were still too young to fully understand the world, Changmin would always hold Yoona close to his body while whispering in the omnipresent darkness, something they forever ago grew to accept while they still spent their days searching for lost rays of sunlight finding their ways into small alleys and hallways framed by sky-high walls bending towards each other the higher they reached.

Up on the top floors it was was cold and moist, but sometimes rare rays of the sun found their way through the thick mass of grey blocking the sky and darkening their days. Changmin and Yoona took the risk of walking on brittle stairways up to the the hallways which where already half broken- the remains only carried by cracking abutments half crumbled themselves. On the tip of their toes they walked along the grounds falling apart, yearning to catch a ray of sun and at night to watch the stars lighting up the darkness of their world. It was Changmin's most determined effort to have Yoona sleeping under a soft cover of shining stars at night and Yoona's secret joy to see the soft gold of the sun dance upon Changmin's pale face. In a way it was the reason they saw in their existence, the way they spend their days trying to catch of a glimpse of what was missing in their world, trying to grasp beauty in a world too dull and grey for two children who reached out for the stars.


And then, one day Changmin was gone.

Yoona ran up and down all floors of their central complex, even dared to search in the neighboring areas, but Changmin was gone and something inside Yoona immediately knew that he found a way out.

('Yoona? What do you think is out there?'

She blinked at that, her hand in his twitching with mild irritation. 'That question again, Minnie?' She teased him, her eyes softening when she saw fleeting hurt passing his dark eyes. Leaning closer to his form and carefully dangling her feet in the air from where she sat at the open edge of a broken hallway on the top floor, she looked ahead and searched the horizon for an answer. But there was none. 'There is nothing, Minnie' She whispered. 'Only more grey, only more concrete, endless hallways and city complexes...' She looked back at him and saw the delicateness of his feelings crossing the depth of his eyes. 'There is no outside, Minnie-My.')

But he found a way outside. Outside. While she did not find him. So she waited.


Weeks passed, but Changmin never returned and Yoona started hearing her parents talk about her with hushed voices, the few other people living on the nearby floors whispering behind closed doors how she lost her reason to live in this city. For the first time in her life, Yoona understood the reason of her existence- the reality she and Changmin never thought of, because searching for the few things lighting up their world seemed that more of a reason for their lives.

But she learned cruelly that with Changmin gone, most probably out of the city -even if that assumption was insane, impossible- Yoona lost the father of her future children, the sole reason she and Changmin really were born. With Changmin gone, a whole generation of future children to spend their lives in the endless floors and levels of the walled city was wiped out, and that was a tragedy, really, an almost unacceptable loss for the miserable people living there. Children, after all, where everyone's greatest hope in a world were living beings were rare and the only chance of keeping the city alive. With Changmin gone, that hope was wiped out from not only Yoona's but everyone's lives- she only understood this a few months after Changmin disappearance though, when every look and every word received from the few other people in her life hurt like a knife stabbed through her heart broken and lost after Changmin let go of it.

Yoona mourned for her lost children, even though she was only eleven years old and the thought of having her own kids never crossed her mind before. It did then, because everyone kept talking about it, uncaring if she heard or not. It had the girl breaking down after a few weeks, tears streaming down her pale and sunken face, her small body wrecking with heavy sobs, but there was no one there to pick her up and tell her that she would be alright again. The light Changmin told her he'd pressed inside of her in a night she had slept deep enough not to notice, was gone, was lost. And not only inside of her: There was no light nowhere anymore. No sound no life no nothing, and it was then, when Yoona realized that Changmin was her life, her everything that she also understood that he took it with him wherever he went.

Shuddering at the sudden realization, every fiber of her body was on the edge when she understood that she had to leave the city as well, that without Changmin there was no place for her to stay. Yoona lay broken and shivering on the concrete ground on the top floor of the central complex -an abandoned hallway with half the walls missing, allowing her a far view over the gigantic endlessness that was her home when she finally realized what she had to do.

She felt tired, older than before when she carefully got up, supporting her body with her thin arms, her eyes slowly looking at the concrete-framed horizon. A decision was made, forced, though still without her really noticing- but was there even a choice for her?

Her legs trembled a little when she walked down the hallway and to the staircase leading down, her movements slow as if sleepwalking, the only thing pulling her forward an invisible (imaginary?) thread connected to her heart and leading her downstairs, down down down and out of the city she called home without her even noticing. It led her gently, made her cross levels on connecting bridges between the apartment complexes, urged her through dark hallways and narrow stairs.

She passed the invisible border of the tenths floors, a faint warning buzzing at the back of her head which she dismissed without really noticing, her legs carrying her down to the ninth, the eighth, the seventh floor as the darkness increased while her light form was swallowed up by heavy wads of grey -but she never noticed.

Yoona was caught in her sleep, a desperate, not really peaceful slumber that made her walk without rest, with her eyes wide open as she finally arrived on the ground floor. As days, weeks, months passed, she was still sleep walking, her small form finding its way through the walled city that desperately tried to keep her in. Through heavy darkness she passed filth and desperation, found herself knee-high in century-gathered dirt -something the ground-level seemed to be made of, but Yoona was determined- even though she wasn't conscious enough to really know it. Something inside of her pulsed and kept her walking though, until the huge complexes fell behind, until the shadows stretched and finally stayed around a dark corner, until the streets got bigger and the air lighter.

And then quite suddenly it was easier to breathe. Yoona crossed a small plaza when out of nowhere the first real sun ray of her life fell onto her pale face. She did not understand that she was outside as she didn't comprehend, had no idea what the outside was. The only thing she noticed was the change, the way everything was completely different while still being vaguely familiar at the same time.

It was the air, the light, everything she realized with waving consciousness, the way everything seemed brighter under a blue sky -a sky she never had been able to see before because of the forever huge buildings blocking everything out.

While Yoona walked a few more steps into sunshine and strangely living air, her eyes fluttered close and she shivered, slowly losing balance and her last coherent thought for a long time was one of full wonder and slight panic, similar to someone waking from a coma or amnesia desperately asking herself:

'How much time passed since I fell asleep?'


A/N: Hi, I'm back from the far away land of the exam-dead
...I hope I'll find much more time to write now that everything is
finally over :)

So... Some Changmin/Yoona for you gals which might be surprising for
some and groan-worthy for others hihi :) And since Changmin/Yoona are
my het OTP I want to link you up to a fantastic Changmin/Yoona-writer's
journal which I personally love:

(ichinori ♥)

she writes the most beautifulperfectamazing Changmin/Yoona there is here on
LJ and if you happen to like this pairing, I can very much recommend you
everything she wrote :) also, she is the very talented person who made the
beautiful banner for this fic ♥ thank you again, [livejournal.com profile] aoza :)))

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[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on April 20th, 2012 01:39 am (UTC)

My first Changmin/Yoona ;A; can you feel the love?
[identity profile] leprixx.livejournal.com on April 20th, 2012 02:47 am (UTC)
such a lovely story ;3;
ty for posting~
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on April 23rd, 2012 02:45 am (UTC)
thank you for reading it :)
I'm glad you liked it :)))
[identity profile] aoza.livejournal.com on April 20th, 2012 03:52 am (UTC)
Oh God. Where do I even begin? This is just... Good Lord. I am floored, really I am. I have no words. I am on my phone right now but I will leave a better comment later. <3
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on April 23rd, 2012 02:52 am (UTC)
I am really really happy that you like this :))))
Since you made this beautiful banner I didn't want
to disappoint and had very high expectations myself
haha. I'm glad it turned out okay :))))

also thank you soso much for promoting this on your
own journal and tumblr. I was a bit sad that only people
on livejournal would have access to this story since I don't
upload anywhere else :/ The reason I write this fic though is
to reach as many Changmin/Yoona lovers as possible since
I know myself how unfortunately rare fanfictions for this pairing
are. This is why it makes me so happy that thanks to you even
people from other sites get a chance to find this :)))
[identity profile] aoza.livejournal.com on April 25th, 2012 08:48 am (UTC)
There's no problem, dear. :D When you sent me a message, the first thought I had was to link it thru the tumblr immediately. It was perfect timing too since I wanted to put together a list of all fanfictions available of the pairing.
[identity profile] embracingwings.livejournal.com on April 20th, 2012 11:05 pm (UTC)
Changyoon totally is one of my het OTPs as well!
It's been a long time though since I read a het fic lol :'D This is awesome though, I hope you'll continue :3
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on April 23rd, 2012 02:47 am (UTC)
It's such a cute pairing....too bad there are just so few stories
about them :((( but at least they are increasing haha. I'm glad
you liked this :))) and yeah I'll continue but I'm afraid updates
will be slow. I just don't find much time to write nowadays :(((

thank you for reading and commenting :)
[identity profile] littletravelerx.livejournal.com on April 24th, 2012 12:43 am (UTC)
ohmygoodness -clings-

I thought I was the only who shipped Yoona/Changmin :'D I LOVE YOU.
It's been so long since I found such an amazing fanfic<3 I'm serious though, this story is beautiful x__x

p.s. I just found your journal today *-* I'm literally looking through all your stories right now (yes I'm such a creeper :D)
You have just gained a new fan<33
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on April 24th, 2012 10:41 pm (UTC)
hi girl :)

I'm really really glad that you found your way here my beautiful
fellow Changmin/Yoona friend :))))) I'm also happy that you liked
this and thankful for letting me know ^^
Changmin/Yoona lovers are rare here on LJ it seems and I was
upset that I could only reach so seemingly few :/ I'm glad that you
commented and let me know there is another person to add to this
pairing's fandom hihihi<3

thank you for reading and commenting. ooooh and I wrote another het
story...It's Jaejoong/Tiffany though....but if you are interested, you can find
it in my masterlist-entry. the title is "verstrahlt" :)
[identity profile] aoza.livejournal.com on April 25th, 2012 08:46 am (UTC)
ChangYoon shippers are really very rare here in LJ. But there seems to be lot outside of the English-speaking zone. I've been contacted by Vietnamese and Malay fans asking if they can translate my stories over to their language which is cool because I didn't know there were much fans around. ♥

Glad you're on my ship though!!!
[identity profile] aoza.livejournal.com on April 25th, 2012 08:44 am (UTC)
[identity profile] rennonyanyan.livejournal.com on April 27th, 2012 08:12 pm (UTC)
Woohooo this is one better exchange to my SuTiff fic :D I'm glad you can write again, babella *hugs* anywaaayyyzzz. I have a slight fascination over high and tall buildings. How one could explore it and living in completely different environment surrounded by walls. It was kinda creepy at first but aww the way Changmin said about the star to Yoona made my heart flutters :3 and Changmin is missing omg (゚Д゚≡゚Д゚) so Yoona's sleepwalking? I thought she was fainted and started having imaginations but I'm glad she came out! More adventures waiting? Betcha! Can't wait for the next chap :D *le tags*

P. S. I won't say anything about the pairing though. As long as it has a good story, I'll be there to read any het :) here's a love for being awesome (  ̄▽ ̄)ノ♥
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on December 9th, 2012 06:47 am (UTC)
oh gooood baby, I'm sorry, i just saw your comment :-((((
this is a really really REALLY late reply, and I'm so sorry!!!!
I never meant to me rude ;_____; sorry!!!

thank you so much for reading and commenting, I'm glad you
like this even though it is het and Changmin and Yoona...I know
it is not for everyone and the fact that you tried just because of me
makes me so happy :-)))) thank you so much<33333