30 August 2010 @ 03:26 am

Title: Stand by You
Length: 3/?
Pairing: YunJae, super brief one-sided ChunJae
Rating: R (still PG this chapter)
Warnings: incest (stepfather-son), underage sex (Jae is 23 years younger. Beware.)
Genre: tragedy, angst, romance
Disclaimer: this is pure fiction. I don't make any profit with this.

author: [livejournal.com profile] abcdefghiluvyou
plot by: [livejournal.com profile] zoevo : beware of spoiler!

Yunho got married to Jaejoong’s mother when Jae was 4 and 2 years later, Jae’s mother gave birth to Changmin. Unlike Changmin, a happy and talkative kid, Jaejoong was always quiet but thanks to Yunho and his mother’s love and special attention, he actually felt happy with his 4 member family until Jae was 12 and Changmin was 6, his mother passed away on a car accident.

Seeing his once perfect family broken, Yunho being devastated, Changmin turning silent, Jaejoong decided to get his happy family back by taking his mother’s place in Yunho and Changmin’s life. He did all the things he had seen his mother doing to take good care of Yunho and Changmin, even slipping into his parents’ bedroom and cuddle up with Yunho at night. To Yunho, Jae was a kid who always needed love and extra attention and he loved Jae as his own son. Knowing how depressed and insecure Jae was feeling when losing his mother, he let the kid have his ways.

It’s when Jae was 15 and Yunho started to date again that Jae felt the need to be the actual wife in Yunho’s bed to keep this seemingly perfect family his. beware of spoiler!

Summary: When Jaejoong's father died, it didn't take his mother long to find somebody else to marry. Jung Yunho, 27 years old and at the first glance not a Daddy-person, became the world for the 4 years old Jaejoong. But when his mother died years later in a terrible accident and his small family started to fall apart, Jaejoong promised himself to do everything -everything- to save the happiness of both his little brother Changmin's and his step-father Yunho's. Literally.

Former parts:

Chapter: (one)
Chapter: (two)

Chapter 3:

Stand by You

Happiness became a fight. And Jaejoong fought hard for it.

At first it were the fleeting smiles on his younger brother's lips, and the soft glint of life in his father's eyes which kept him struggling for his family's happiness. But soon Jaejoong noticed that he hardly could sleep, hardly could concentrate on school and life -actually anything, without his family being content and idyllic first.

Whenever Changmin came back from school silent and with a dull sadness radiating from his small and crouched body, whenever Yunho returned from work with his lips set to a firm line and tiredness turning his handsome face into a mask of frozen hurt and exhaustion, Jaejoong's stomach would quite painfully clench in uneasiness.

So he fought hard for Changmin's smiles and the gleam of life in Yunho's gentle eyes. He fought hard for their happiness for the sake of his own.


One night, after he had washed and dried up the dishes, Jaejoong stared absentmindedly into the draining off rinse water, watching his blurred reflection twisting and shrinking on the soapy, rainbow-coated surface.

The kitchen was dimly lit, only one of the two lights of the exhaust hood illuminating the small room, but from outside the soft orange ray of a streetlight fell through the tipped window. The boy was deep in his thoughts, mind spinning around the few moments he had been together with his family earlier the day.

Changmin, who had sat on the dinner table in front of the kitchen to be near him while he had cooked their dinner. Yunho, who had turned the volume of the TV down to listen to their silent chatter. His family silently eating with soft smiles on their lips as they had savored the rich taste of his strangely always too spicy meals. Changmin's knee pressing against his, Yunho's hand, warm and heavy, upon his thigh.

The window suddenly rattled silently and Jaejoong jerked attentive, looked up with wide eyes, body shivering in the cold of the unoccupied room, before he quickly closed the window and turned to leave the kitchen.

He silently made his way to the living room and to his peacefully sleeping family on the main couch in front of the TV. There was something warm and idyllic about the way they were sleeping so close, cuddled up together on the big couch, and Jaejoong almost instantly felt a touch of loneliness as he stepped closer.

Wiping his wet hands on his white uniform shirt, Jaejoong carefully approached his father's and brother's sleeping forms.

Yunho was laying on his back, Changmin's small body in his arms and up against his strong chest. The boy was sleeping with his mouth slightly parted and his soft lids were fluttering and twitching occasionally. He was dreaming and Jaejoong carefully leaned closer, pressing his soft lips against Changmin's closed eyes. They fluttered helplessly against the gentle press, Changmin's little mouth twitching -and Jaejoong suppressed a smile.

He leaned back, his eyes on his father now. He silently watched Yunho frowning in his sleep, mouth pouting -an unusual sight for Jaejoong, who'd never seen his father this cute and child-like before. Yunho's face was soft, somewhat frail and defenseless, and there was a deep furrow between his eyebrows. Jaejoong felt the strong urge to sooth it away.

Without a sound the boy leaned down, fingertips reaching out to gently, with feather-light touches, caress the tense flesh.

Jaejoong leaned closer, smiling as Yunho's breath caressed his face. The boy closed his eyes and then an image of his mother, kissing Yunho's sorrow and anger away, which he sometimes had brought back home from work flashed through his mind.

Jaejoong tensed, and then licked his lips, unsure, nervous. He chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully, but then decided that it wouldn't hurt to try.

Carefully, so that his baby-brother's sleep wouldn't be disturbed by his closer-to-Yunho-bending body, Jaejoong lowered his face to gently press his soft lips against Yunho's full ones.

Instinctively the boy's eyelids fluttered close and he blushed slightly, when he heard his sleeping father sigh into the kiss. He let his inexperienced lips rest against Yunho's for another nervous moment, enjoying the velvet texture of his father's flesh against his own, the way Yunho's breathing seemed to bath his whole face with warmth, the closeness- but then Yunho's lips twitched and the man murmured something against Jaejoong's shock-parting ones, the tip of Yunho's tongue slipping inside the boy's mouth.

Jaejoong recoiled, body loosing balance and falling against the low living-room table. He made a small sound of pain, and Changmin and Yunho were instantly awake.


The boy in question snapped his mouth shut, blushed a terribly deep shade of pink and looked up from the floor with wide eyes full of embarrassment and a really caught expression on his face.

“Uh...uhmn.” Jaejoong quickly scrambled up to his knees, trying to fight down the blush he could feel burning up his cheeks.

Yunho looked at him awkwardly, but Changmin had a suspicious look in his eyes and Jae could feel his embarrassment reaching new highs.

He dropped his eyes in defense and silently hoped his brother wasn't sharp enough to get the right idea as he slowly get up on his feet. He avoided both his families' eyes and cleared his throat silently, searching for words.

He was just about to open his mouth to tell them to go sleep in their bedrooms, as warm hands reached out for him, strong arms wrapped around his slim hips, to pull him against a toned chest.

A second later a small body pressed against his, at the same time as Jae's face was softly pressed against Yunho's chest. Sandwiched between Changmin's small body and Yunho, Jaejoong's blush deepened and breathing became difficult.

Yunho gently, but sleepily, placed a soft kiss on Jaejoong's tender forehead, rough fingertips gently brushing away stray strands of hair, before the man yawned and lay back on the couch, taking a speechless Jaejoong down with him to a laying position. Changmin wordlessly followed, his warm body pressing against his older brother's with a small yawn of his own.

Both Changmin and Yunho were back to sleep in less than five seconds. But Jae lay awake, face securely hidden under Yunho's prominent chin, a pale cheek pressed against the tender flesh of the man's neck.

In the silence of the dark living-room he listened to the soft beat of Yunho's heart under his fingertips, which he let slip underneath the hem of his stepfather's shirt. Gently, the boy traced the prominent outlines of strong collarbones, tips digging in the gap between, before carefully slipping back under the shirt.

Jaejoong blinked, long and lush eyelashes fluttering over Yunho's warm skin, as the the boy listened to Changmin's silent breathing. He snuggled up closer to Yunho, knees coming up against his chest, as he rolled together as much as possible, a pale arm stretching out for his younger brother to press him against his body.

Tightly pressed between their bodies, as close as possible to his little family, Jaejoong finally allowed sleep's heavy arms to wrap around his small body, let it kiss him goodnight to a beautiful dream's fleeting embrace.


It became a regular for Jae to slip into Yunho's arms at night. Sometimes Changmin was there, also searching for closeness and warmth, sometimes it was Jae alone falling asleep in Yunho's strong arms. The man never questioned the young boy, never said a word but willingly opened his arms for the small and cold body like he had done all the years before.

One night, his gentle fingers stroked through Jaejoong's sleep-disheveled hair, while the boy sighed in his sleep, tongue caught between his lips and lids fluttering feverishly beneath furrowed brows.

Yunho held the boy close while he shifted slightly in his bed, to press a light kiss against the kid's forehead, on the small furrow between those tense brows and upon each twitching lid. To him it was obvious that Jaejoong needed love and attention and that the boy felt lonely, especially at nights when memories of his mother -and maybe even of his father, kept haunting him, depriving him of precious sleep.

He rested his head gently against Jaejoong's soft locks, listening to the boy's soft intakes of air, while his arms unconsciously tightened around the light body. Fingertips run invisible patterns through hair, over smooth skin, tracing the lush and fine arc of fluttering lids' lashes.

Yunho was deeply in thoughts as his fingertips gently traced over the velvet of Jaejoong's slightly parted lips. The man fell asleep as his thumb unconsciously pulled softly on the boy's full lower lip, the tip of the pad softly slipping inside the wet warmth without any of them ever noticing.

They slept peacefully, warm, subconscious gently kissing them to a dream's pastel-fleeting lullaby both could hear floating at the back of their minds.


As soon as it was morning, as soon as the first faint sun rays touched Jaejoong's pale cheeks, the boy woke up, lips pouting for a tired yawn and Yunho stirred from his sleep while the boy sleepily searched for his way out of his stepfather's arms.

With half-closed eyes, Yunho watched Jae suppressing another yawn, while making his stumbling way into the kitchen. A glance at the alarm clock told Yunho that it was near five o'clock in the morning and with a groan, the man tried to go back to sleep- but knew he would fail, just as every other morning Jaejoong had previously sneaked his way into his arms at night.

Eyes heavy and dropping shut to tempting blackness every few seconds, he listened to the boy cooking rice, roasting meat, packing three lunch boxes for all of them, while the coffee-machine made promising gurgling sounds above the cozy clatter of dishes.

At seven the boy returned back into Yunho's bedroom, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand, which Yunho knew contained his preferred amount of milk and sugar-sweetness. Jaejoong sat down beside his stepfather's long and relaxed body, pale hands reaching out to stroke Yunho's face lovingly, before the boy leaned down to give the man a good-morning kiss.

Before his lips could touch Yunho's though, the man pursed his lips, and just as all the years before, this made the perplexed boy giggle behind a pale hand, while his cheeks heated up pink, big eyes fluttering bashfully, avoiding Yunho's eyes.

The man chuckled, while getting up, thankfully accepting the cup of coffee Jaejoong smilingly held out for him. He watched Jaejoong's fingers silently playing with the hem of the white duvet and hardly suppressed a smile as the boy pouted and helplessly looked around the room.

Jaejoong was so cute when unsure about what to do next and Yunho carefully placed the half-full cup upon the commode on his side of the bed, before his hands reached out for Jaejoong's small hips, roughly pulling the boy against his body, fingers starting to tickle tense skin.

The boy cried out in both shock and cheerful joy and then immediately squirmed in Yunho's arms, desperately trying to get away from the fingers digging into the soft skin above his ribs and on his stomach.

Their joined laughter, shouts and little cries of either triumph or revenge echoed off the walls of Yunho's bedroom, washed down the hallway to hit Changmin's closed bedroom door like waves crashing against a shore.

It was half past seven, golden sunlight falling in through the windows and upon a laughing Yunho with a stubbornly pouting Jaejoong sitting on his stomach, pillows everywhere around the otherwise neat room, when Changmin, nose running and small fists rubbing the sleep out of his swollen eyes, entered the bedroom.

He blinked a few seconds, confused, irritated, but then joined the war with a terrible cry, small body jumping, knocking Jaejoong off of Yunho, to take on the two of them at the same time.

Jaejoong screamed, grabbed a pillow and shouted bloody revenge, before hitting his baby brother's head with it, the momentum of the blow catching Yunho as well, before clumsy Jaejoong lost balance and fell right upon Yunho's stomach.

It was only when Changmin's alarm clock started ringing that they all remembered work and school. Jaejoong actually shrieked as he tried to scramble out of Yunho's and Changmin's arms, while at the same time grabbing his brother's arm and dragging him into his room to pick out his clothes for school.

It was only thanks to Jaejoong, who pressured and urged his family to hurry and who quickly made a breakfast of toast with fried eggs, which everyone could eat on their way, that actually no one was late that day.


A year later, Jaejoong was thirteen and in his 1st year of middle-school*, the bullies from elementary school and his first years at the secondary school started to mature.

Some of them suddenly left him alone, not bothering him anymore, some of them developed a deeper character and actually tried to befriend him.

It was ironic that the biggest bully back from the times Jaejoong had been enrolled into elementary school became his closest friend.

Park Yoochun had been a bullied child himself. The boy had been born in Korea, but due to his fathers transfer to America he practically had been a foreigner when the family had returned four years later.

Yoochun had been seven, a year older than everyone else when he had been enrolled in school, but his Korean had been weak and he had known nothing about the games and songs and cartoons the other children had talked about.

The other children had not liked him and had called him names he hadn't been able to understand. But it had been one thing not to understand hurtful nouns, it had been another to miss the sound of their mocking voices.

Yoochun had been angry and alone, bitter- because he hadn't been welcome to play games with the children back in America and because he had hoped so much to fit in in Korea, had hoped so much to find friends.

So when the other children had started to notice the strange silence of the pale and frail-looking kid at the front-row, when the boys had started to kick their soft-balls against the lonely figure at the far end of the schoolyard during breaks, when the girls had started to bully the small boy, who everyone so easily had mistaken as one of them, to do all the weekly duties no one really had wanted to do, Yoochun had been the first and the loudest to proclaim loudly that the boy was abnormal and needed to be taught a lesson.

Eight years later, he and the former bullied, pale and still frail-looking Jaejoong sat on a desk in their empty classroom during lunch-break. Jaejoong had his lunch-box on his lap, but it were Yoochun's chopsticks digging into meat-layered rice.

“Yoochun, I packed a spoon- uuurmf?!”

Yoochun was quick to stuff his best friend's mouth with food while sneaking his chopsticks back to the delicious rice. He expertly picked up chunks of roasted pork, discretely scraping off grains of cooked rice. He chewed with stuffed cheeks, but started speaking before finishing his treat.

“You know. You got like...really good at cooking, Jae. Can you make that sweet egg-roll for tomorrow?”

Jaejoong chewed on his mouthful of rice and boiled vegetables and rolled his eyes in annoyance. A second later he nodded his head yes though, eyes soft as he watched Yoochun joyfully separating vegetables from meat.

Even with her family back in Korea for more than eight years now, and with her having lived in America for only four years, Yoochun's mother clung to the American lifestyle and culture -though Jae, and everyone else who ever had visited Yoochun at home, doubted that Mrs. Park actually really knew how to live it up right.

Yoochun's lunch-boxes however contained only soft toast with peanut-butter and jam, sometimes a pancake with syrup maybe, ever since his mother had decided to be American.

So Jaejoong packed two pairs of chopsticks, two spoons and took the biggest box in their home, to share his lunch with his best friend. And just as every day when Yoochun finished his half of the meal and started to eat the small fruit-salad in one of the round Tupperware containers, the boy leaned in to press a sloppy kiss against Jaejoong's pale cheek as a thank you.

Yoochun finished up first and satisfied but feeling a bit sleepy after filling his stomach with food, embedded his head sideways upon his arms he crossed on the desk Jae still sat and ate at. His dark ebony locks curled around his face as he watched his beautiful friend finishing up the fruits he had left him.

Yoochun smiled when Jae's eyes closed in happiness and a small smile danced upon his pink lips whenever he put his favorite fruit into his mouth and savored the sweet taste of strawberry pieces. Yoochun hid a smile of his own in the crook of his right arm, eyes turning just a tiny bit darker, contentment that he had left Jaejoong all the strawberries to watch the boy enjoying them so much tickling down his spine.

When Jaejoong finished the salad and carefully packed the now empty boxes back into his schoolbag, Yoochun silently rose his head to watch his best friend's half-profile. He licked his lips.

“Say...Jaejoong.” Yoochun watched his best friend pout in irritation and then turn to look at him. Yoochun smiled. “How are things with Yunho and Changmin lately?”

As soon as the two of them had become close enough to fully trust each-other, they had shared their equally sad life-stories, Yoochun beginning with his, since Jaejoong had been too unsure, still too afraid to get hurt again back then. So of course Yoochun knew everything about Yunho, Jaejoong's stepfather and Changmin, his little half-brother.

Jaejoong tilted his head and chewed on his bottom lip. Yoochun watched the rosy flesh turning a deep shade of pink.

“We are...okay...”, Jaejoong hesitantly answered and Yoochun knew the boy was carefully thinking about the last few weeks, comparing them to when he had started to take care of his little family.

He was a bit lost when Jaejoong's cheeks turned pink though. The boy nervously looked up and into Yoochun's eyes, as if to make sure he couldn't read his mind, only to blush a deeper shade of pink as he saw Yoochun staring at him questioningly.

“Uhmn...uhmn, things with Yunho...”, Jaejoong pressed his lips shut, turned around and suddenly his hands were highly occupied with re-arranging the books in his schoolbag.

Yoochun felt something cold clenching its fist around his frantically pounding heart. Jealousy, fear, deep indignation at the potential threat of having to share his one and only beautiful friendship, his beloved Jaejoong, with someone else burning its acid way through his veins.

He could feel his whole body rapidly draining off all warmth and colour and when he spoke he couldn't hear his own voice but one of a stranger, an alien tongue forming words, spilling acid, stringing together word after word to form sentences intended to hurt, to upset, to make insecure.

“Oh really. Because with him being your step-dad and you two not being real relatives, I always thought he'd love Changmin, his real son, much more than you.”

Yoochun's eyes widened at his own words and with panic he watched the small form of his friend freezing up, hands suddenly motionless, body tense, so tense. Jae didn't turn to look at him.

“Well, Jae...but you really are trying so hard. Maybe he feels pity or something, or he feels obliged to care for you and thus acts nice?...but it's great that everything is okay at home. How's Changmin?”

Yoochun saw how Jaejoong's pale hands trembled, how one came up to most likely cover the boy's lips. The other hand found its aimless way into soft, light-brown locks and Yoochun swallowed hard, body tensing, heart clenching, everything inside of him screaming to get up and to embrace the frail form of Jaejoong, everything inside of him begging him to tell the helpless boy that he didn't mean it, that he just had wanted to hurt out of jealousy.

But before he could open his mouth or take a step towards his friend, Jaejoong turned, face pale and brows twitching terribly in the attempt to hold back tears, but a perfect smile on his lips, voice in control when he answered Yoochun's question.

“Changmin is fine. We are...we are all fine. We are a family.”

The boy made his way through the classroom to Yoochun and wordlessly sat down beside him. Yoochun avoided Jaejoong's eyes just as much as the boy tried hard not to look at him.

For the rest of their lunch-break they sat in silence, only moving to sit on their own desks when a loud gong announced the end of the break and their fellow classmates started to come back into the classroom.


Yunho only noticed a change in Jaejoong when he heard the boy crying helplessly in front of his closed bedroom door one night.

For weeks the boy had refrained from climbing into Yunho's bed at night to seek protection in his stepfather's strong arms, so Yunho was a bit puzzled when he heard a strange noise outside his door.

Yunho heard a muffled, silent sob and- assuming it was Changmin, who maybe had woken up from another nightmare- he quickly clapped the book in his hand shut and got out of his bed to open the door. He was more than confused when he stared down at Jaejoong's pale body, wide and tearful eyes looking up at him in shock.

The boy was frozen for a split second, but then he winced, body jerking back, trying to run away. Yunho was too perplexed to think of anything more gentle than to quickly get a hold of the boy, pulling his cold body against his own. Jaejoong cocked on a sob and Yunho's confusion turned into serious worry.

He quickly lifted the boy up into his arms and after a small moment of weak and halfhearted struggling, Jaejoong wrapped his legs around Yunho's waist.

Yunho shushed the boy, lips pressing against Jae's head while the man silently shut the door and carried the kid to his bed. He sat Jaejoong down gently, his warm hands coming up to rub the kid's pale cheeks.

Yunho's brows were furrowed and there was deep concern written all over his handsome features. Jaejoong sobbed, fisted his fingers into Yunho's shirt and then dropped his eyes, thick tears falling from his dark lashes. He couldn't answer when Yunho asked him what was wrong, but calmed down as the man pressed him against his chest, one hand on the backside of his head, one hand caressing his trembling back.

Jaejoong rubbed his pale cheek tiredly against the cotton fabric of Yunho's shirt, fingers still clutching onto it, even when Yunho carefully lowered them both down onto the bed, one arm temporarily leaving Jaejoong's cold body to tuck in their bodies under the heavy down-weight of the covers.

Gentle fingers run through his hair, and Yunho softy rocked their bodies, lulling Jaejoong to sleep. The boy curled up against his stepfather's warm body, feeling the stress, the insecurity and hurt leaving his tense form for the first time since Yoochun had asked him about his family.

The next morning, the boy ignored Yunho's questions of concern, only pulled his knees against his chest, head titled and face hidden behind his legs. He licked his lips nervously as he watched Yunho sipping his morning-coffee, sometimes throwing quick glances full of worry upon his crouched-together body.

Jaejoong took a deep breath, which immediately had Yunho's full attention on him and then slowly lifted his head from behind his knees. His eyes softened as he looked into Yunho's still caring eyes and a faint blush painted his pale cheeks a sweet rosé as he built up all his courage to ask his stepfather one essential question.

“Yunho...”, his voice was so small, so unsure.

Jaejoong blushed helplessly and dropped his eyes, lips pressing shut and insides clenching because oh god, what if he said no?

He tried again.

“Yunho...do you...” Jaejoong quickly looked up into Yunho's eyes, lips trembling but actually finding the strength to lock eyes with him, “...do you like me, Yunho?”

Jaejoong's voice went silent at the end, fading, but Yunho had heard the question, eyes going round in wonder as he took in the earnest concern behind that simple sentence. He almost chocked on his coffee, mind spinning, running wild how the kid had somehow gotten the impression he wasn't loved by him.

He silently put the coffee down, eyes never leaving the now hopeless looking boy.

“Jaejoong I...” he searched for a word to describe what he felt for the boy, how much he had missed him in his arms and against his chest the last weeks, how deep and big that feeling inside of him was, how much he cared for him, how great of a part he was in his life, and simply decided on a:

“...Jaejoong I love you.”

It was when he had an armful of a crying boy against his chest that Yunho noticed the unnatural fast pounding of his heart against his ribcage and the cold sweat running down his temples.

Trying to calm down the emotionally confused kid in his arms, he failed to calm his own inner-self as he came to realize, with the unpleasant feeling of something icy-cold washing down his spine, that he indeed loved Jaejoong.

Only not as a son.


Next Chapter: (here)

* I'm using the german school-system here:
we start elementary school at age 6 in grade 1 (up to grade 4)
we start secondary school, beginning at lower-grade at age 10 in grade 5,
we start middle-school at age 13 in grade 8, we start senior-classes at age 16 in grade 11.
we finish school and graduate at age 18 in grade 13. you start university if you want to :D

A/N: and so the YunJae starts.

this took me ages to update and I'm sorry. I have no excuse, just my
incredibly busy life.

I'm not sure if I'm pleased with the outcome of this chapter hmmmn, how do you like it? :)

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