27 September 2010 @ 03:08 pm
Find Me chapter 3 B  

Title: Find Me
Length: 3b/5 (interlude)
Pairing: MinJae, YooSu
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Vampire, slavery, underage-sex, rape, abuse, violence, gore, blood
Genre: horror, violence, tragedy, dark angst, taboo-themes
Disclaimer: this is pure fiction. I don't make any profit with this.

author: [livejournal.com profile] abcdefghiluvyou

Summary: “It's the age of humankind, we have to leave. You know the elders are right, Changmin.” Yoochun's voice sounded pitiful, a touch of desperation, as he held tight onto his best friend's hand. “One day, when humankind matured, when we're lost and forgotten, when we are free to move as we like, when the world has a place for us again...one day, Minnie, you'll be allowed to look for him. He'll wait for you- You'll find him.”

Former parts:

Chapter 1: (A/B)
Chapter 2: (A/B)
Chapter 3: (A)

Changmin was more than happy when he was back in his mansion, free from the silent glare of his team's alpha.

He snorted in annoyance, not sure if he was angry at the alpha or himself, and then hurried upstairs into his master bedroom to change, disgust welling up inside of him, as he could still smell a faint fragment of human scent on his expensive clothes. He froze on his way when he heard a soft moan vibrating through the silence of his grand hallways.

He stopped in his tracks, body tensing and then reluctantly relaxing, as he angrily remembered the uninvited presence of Yoochun and his small human mate in one of his lavish bedrooms.

Changmin heaved a deep deep sigh, ignored his angry irritation bordering on ridiculous jealousy, and turned back and away from the stairway, no longer in the mood to pass the room occupied with a passionate pair of lovers on his way to his own bedroom. Instead he quickly walked half the staircase back down and then into his kitchen, startling his human servants there.

Changmin hissed, letting them know that they better hurry out the kitchen, and then calmed down and leaned comfortably against the broad counter in the middle of the kitchen. His ears twitched as he heard another moan floating through the air and he gritted his teeth, reminding himself that it was beyond ridiculous to envy Yoochun for his human mate.

A silent voice at the back of his mind was quick to inform him that it was just as- if not even more ridiculous to envy said human mate for his closeness with Yoochun. That heartbeat he wanted nothing more than to kill that silent voice for its effrontery, but part of him -most likely the rational one, couldn't help but clap its hands in catty delight.

He pressed his lips together as his cheeks blushed in angry embarrassment at that silent thought. But damn it. Since he had been born he never had been forced to share Yoochun with anyone else. It was a shittynastyannoying feeling to be the left-out best friend beside a lovers pair of foolish, love-struck idiots.

And beside the shittynastyannoying and new sensation of having to share his best friend with some random human being, this random human being had to be Yoochun's mate. Mate. Mate.

And oh god. Everything was fucked up and doomed. He grunted to emphasize the end of his chain of thoughts.

Changmin rubbed a rough hand over his tired face, a deep sigh leaving his grim shaped lips, full of irritation, detest and self-pity. He groaned.

What to do now?

Changmin motionlessly stayed leaning against his kitchen counter, eyes narrowed and staring into nothing. Inside, he was debating whether or not he would be able to go upstairs, into his library to hide behind his beloved books, and ignore the intense moans and groans provoking and irritating him to go and kill some of his servants.

Another moan. Yoochun shouting something totally senseless, his little mate only moaning as an answer.

Changmin could feel a tiny vein pulsating right above his temple as one eminently intense moan floated down his staircase and into his kitchen. His folded arms in front of his chest tightened and he pressed his mouth to an angry line. His fingernails dug into his skin when Yoochun's mate started singing -there was no other way to describe the desperate moans hitting higher and higher notes, conflating into an intense yet strangely beautiful melody of maddening ecstasy.

Changmin abruptly pushed his body off the kitchen counter, his long legs carrying him out of his mansion and into his gardens, past the green border and then into the forests before he could even clearly think about what he was doing. For minutes he walked as fast as possible, too lost in his angry thoughts to even notice. Light woods turned into dark and wild forests and when the air was free of his race's scent Changmin snapped out of his thoughts.

He blinked when his body came to a sudden halt, his eyes twitching in irritation as he found himself in the middle of a dark forest miles away from his home. He became angry at himself immediately, hands tightening into fists and he would have given anything for a human crossing his ways so he could vent his anger out on that unlucky being.

Changmin shook his head, silently reprimanding himself to stop this absurd jealousy just because Yoochun was now busy connecting and exploring the depth of his relationship with his mate, rather than having time for him, his sulking best friend, who should know better than being angry and irritated of Yoochun favoring Junsu over him.

He sat down on the giant log of a dead tree, splintered, summer-bleached wood digging through the cloth of his pants and into his hard skin. Changmin didn't mind the tiny pain of sharpened nature cutting into his body, in fact he welcomed the head-clearing feeling of tiny needles jolting through his body, cleaning his mind from his spinning thoughts.

For some minutes he just sat in utter silence, the forest around him motionless, holding its breath, waiting for the young vampire to either explode or implode. Changmin noticed and couldn't help feeling helpless.

He tried hard not to think about Yoochun, but sitting in an empty, silent and anticipating forest wasn't helping. Changmin had never felt this lonely before.

All his life long there had been Yoochun for him, there was not even one second, not even one moment, not even one single heartbeat in his life without Yoochun.

Changmin had been born because of Yoochun, just as Yoochun as been born because of Changmin. They had been brought to this world to start their journey through eternity together, never alone, always there for each-other.

Since finding a mate was something extremely rare -actually considered to border on the close-impossible, and since only one out of thousands hardly found his or her other half, it was a common tradition within the sacred spheres that vampire children were always born in pairs, so that they wouldn't get lost all alone in the endless vastness that eternity was, lonely and cold, without a close friend to survive through the countless centuries of their eternal life.

So when Yoochun's parents had decided that they were ready for a child to enrich their lives with, they had searched for a compatible pair of vampire-lovers among their noble-rank and had found one in the young couple from the old and highly esteemed Shim-clan.

That particular family had been so high in rank, so utterly respected among the sacred spheres and so close to embodied perfection of their race itself that people rumored all Shim-clan-members to be direct descendant of the great goddess herself.

Yoochun's parents had been more than delighted when the prestigious, young Shim-couple had decided to entwine the fates of their unborn children and had send their letter of approval, accordance in every sentence full of pleasant anticipation.

So when Yoochun had been born countless centuries ago, Changmin had followed just a few days later, an unbelievable delight for Yoochun, who -to the horror of his parents, and as soon as both of them had learned enough about the world to tease each other- had started to assume an air of overly superiority, demanding Changmin to call him 'older brother' and to respect him.

To Yoochun's luck, Changmin had been a rather cute kid when they both had been small, no snarky remarks, no choleric outbursts ending in a bloody rage with half the servants of his mansion killed, no endless days with a sulking Changmin coldly ignoring him.

Their childhood had been idyllic, Yoochun leading the pace of their days, Changmin willingly following behind until both had been inaugurated in the old secrets of their families.

Yoochun had returned back to their close friendship with a silent and beautiful awe shimmering in his eyes whenever he had looked at his little brother, Changmin had found his way back into Yoochun's awaiting arms with a certain air of nobleness embracing his slender form, his mismatched eyes widening in silent wonder when Yoochun had started to act differently around him.

Suddenly there had been much more interest whenever Changmin had opened his mouth to talk. Suddenly Yoochun's world had consisted of nothing else than Changmin, and Changmin alone.

Looking back on it, and with this annoying rational part of him still being all catty and daring, whispering things he'd rather pretend not to know into his suddenly very conscious consciousness, maybe that had been the reason Changmin had grown up from the cute kid following Yoochun's adventurous footsteps into the snarky smart-ass, who constantly emitted a for his surroundings most probably highly annoying: 'I know and I do everything- but most importantly I am better than you'-vibe.

The annoying voice in his head dwelt in self-pleased silence and Changmin gritted his teeth to prevent himself from snarling like an idiot.

He shook his head in annoyance, shot a glance at the sky and decided to walk through the forests some more, maybe spending the night outside his mansion even to save himself from another intense attack of jealousy as soon as he'd set foot on his property.

The voice in his head was silent, not coming back to literally give him another catty piece of his mind and Changmin was thankful being rid of it. His long legs carried him through the forest, not one animal crossing his path through the night.

He could tell that he was in the eastern woods, but the air was strangely clean, free of any human or vampire scent and Changmin was confused, but kept on walking without a second thought.

The forest was silent, motionless, the branches of trees covering the starlit night-sky, blocking off the pale light of the moon...in the silence Changmin felt like the forest was pulsing, the darkness forming and twisting waves, which washed down his spine and left a tingling sensation on his skin.

He only felt the change in the air as his instincts screamed at him out of nowhere and his insides cramped so sudden- and painfully as a warning, that the air was knocked out of his lungs.

Changmin gasped in shock and confusion, his body tensing immediately as he glanced through the forest, eyes narrowing, ears twitching, his fingers forming into claws. He had absolutely no idea what his sense tried to tell him, but he had no doubt that something dangerous was hiding in this forests, waiting to jump at him when everything inside of him had decided to warn him this drastically.

The young noble listened inside the forests, opened all his senses, his body motionless, ready to launch and kill -and then he wind shifted and a violent shiver shook Changmin's body, all his senses recoiling from the alien something they felt hidden deep inside the forest.

Changmin jerked, his body instinctively taking a step backwards as he felt a faint suction from deep within the darkness of the forest. It was a feeling utterly abnormal in between pure nature, something black and deep and suffocating, something he did not wanted to think about, something so utterly frightening that his whole being recoiled from the mere thought of getting to the core of this strange suction.

Changmin exhaled, his body strangely electrified and then, before he really thought about it and as if his body was acting on its own, he fled, his legs giving their all to get the most possible distance between him and that strange something hiding somewhere beneath the giant trees.

He was at the northern end of the eastern forest when he stopped running, the first thing he noticed when he took great intakes of air was the now strangely calming salty scent of humans filtering through his nostrils. Changmin's whole body shook, and he had to lean against a giant tree, his knees suddenly weak enough to collapse from his weight.

He sat down on the mossy ground, part of him enjoying the energy of life he could feel all around his exhausted body. This forest was neither silent not motionless in the darkness of the night and Changmin was thankful for it, almost happy as he listened to the faint sounds of a human village somewhere not far away from where he was sitting.

When Changmin felt that his heart was back beating at a regular rhythm he carefully rose to stand up, his hands tightening on the old and cracked bark of the tree he still was leaning against, parts of it cracking under his hard fingertips, rippling down as woody dust onto the rich forest ground.

It was only then that he noticed that he was back near the very village he had been ordered to visit this afternoon to check and register the newborn babies of the humans living there. Changmin, who had no desire to pay those lowlifes another visit for the next five or ten years, snorted -totally dismissing the annoying voice, which was more than delightedly telling him that a second ago he had been thankful for those humans' very existence, which were saving him from another irrational panic-attack he had kind of crossed deep in the unknown forests.

Changmin, angry to have that voice back in his head, fought the sudden urge to run into the human village to scream and murder-

'Not smart, Changmin. You just counted all the babies. Not smart, Changminnie. Your alpha will kill you...'

-and snarled in irritation when a new voice, sounding an awful lot like Yoochun, tried to reason with him.

A split second later something way too close to him jumped with fright in the darkness, somewhere hidden between the trees, at the raging sound of his voice. Changmin spun around, body back to its tense form and listened inside the darkness with narrowed eyes.

There was no movement, and whatever he had scared a second ago was silently hiding, motionless, and Changmin couldn't even hear a breathing, because the whole damned forest was so alive.

He gritted his teeth, eyes flashing dangerously, as he took a voluntary step forward, a smirk forming on his lips as something...someone gasped in fright and backed away from him, deeper into the forest. He took another step forward, his smirk widening as whoever was hiding from him was reckless enough to cause low bushes to rustle.

Changmin tensed, ready to launch forward, when pale moonlight cut through the evergreen canopy of leaves, bathing everything in its dim, silver light, faintly illuminating the darkness around the young vampire. It was caught and reflected from behind a small tree a few feet in front of Changmin, and the young vampire's first confused thought was that the mysterious someone he had imagined hiding from him was actually a young fawn, its big and frightened doe-eyes staring back at him through the dimly lit darkness.

His heart sped up in irrational excitement as he took another step forward, and the young thing shrunk away, hiding its face behind pale arms which hugged bony knees -knees?- and Changmin stopped dead in his tracks. He narrowed his eyes, tried to tell what was hiding behind the leaves in the poor light, but had to take another step forward to be able to tell.

He needed a second to comprehend, but then he understood that his eyes rested upon the small and crouched form of a human child, -his last coherent thought crossing his mind was wondering wether it was a girl or a boy, and something... something clenched inside of him.

Changmin swallowed and had a strange sense of déjà-vu as he took another step forward and that confusing something inside of him sighed and jumped in utter joyful bliss. He licked his lips, unsure, nervous, because this strange content feeling inside of him was so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time, and willed his whole body to stop, even as it scream at him to cross the remaining distance between him and the visibly terrified child on the forest ground.

Changmin crouched down, on the kid's level, and somehow couldn't believe himself as he started to make soothing sounds, trying to get the kid to calm down without going nearer and frightening it even more. The young vampire was beyond irritated with himself, but it felt so right when the small kid stopped trembling and big and still frightened eyes peeked from behind thin arms.

Changmin had to smile a little and then dared to get a little closer to the child. Its small body jumped, falling back on its behind and a small cry escaped its lips- and that instant, when Changmin froze in utter dismay to have frightened the small human child, the rational voice in his head was back to announce that he was facing a male and rather meager exemplar of the Homo Sapiens race.

Changmin was too busy to somehow calm the boy down without doing anything to frighten him even more than to acknowledge anything more than the tiny piece of information regarding the small and hurriedly backing-away child's gender.

The boy got up on his feet, his pale and way too thin legs shaking from the cold or the shock of having run into a vampire at night, Changmin couldn't really tell. He too got on his feet in one graceful and fluent motion, his eyes softening as he took in the boy's panic-stricken facial expression, only then noticing how small and neglected the boy looked, how starved and dirty his body was, even for human standards.

He couldn't be older than five or six**, which didn't make any sense because Changmin was sure the boy belonged to the human tribe near them, but couldn't remember seeing him in the crowd of people, who had gathered around his hunter-unit when they had come to check upon the newborns. There were bruises and cuts all over his pale skin and Changmin could see the kid flinching whenever he had to move his injured body.

Deep worry, bordering on irritation and utterly confusing panic, crossed Changmin's mind, and the young vampire took another step forward, his instincts telling him to close his arms around that small, vulnerable form, to heal, to protect, to-

The boy made a frightened sound and flinched back into the shadow of a giant oak as the faint moonlight intensified, silver light now illuminating the night like a faint copy of the sun. Changmin caught a glimpse of palepale flesh and then his insides were screaming at him to get closer to the boy, who was obviously desperate to hide from him.

Whether it was the movement of his small body moving the air around him at the process, or Changmin's somewhat dazed mind clearing for a split second when the boy was fully hidden from his eyes, -somehow the rich scent of fresh but at the same time old and dried blood hit the young vampire out of nowhere and Changmin froze, vision pulsing and then rapidly imploding- before everything went black.

His brain shut down. His heart gave a nauseatingly painful jerk, almost pulling the young vampire's body forward...and then Changmin's nostrils flared, his eyes first hardened, then turned an impossible deep black, before finally fluttering close, rolling back behind the lids. The odd scent got his hackles up with a tingling sensation, which washed down his spine, leaving an itchy feeling on his skin.

Changmin hissed, body tensing, then shuddering, as he inhaled the confusingly sweet scent deep into his lungs. He took a reflexive step forward, a low snarl escaping his lips before he could help it.

Out of nowhere his insides were arching, twisting, burning, everything inside of him, every sense he possessed and his whole being from his soul to the edge of his conscious screaming at him to do...something -anything.

The sweet scent of the boy was calling for him, and Changmin moaned and felt like loosing his mind when the rational part in him slipped away and left him maddened and raw, his body tensing and muscles flexing to reach out and grasp that small body, to crush it in his firm grip, to press it against his chest, his fangs tingling as soon as the thought of sinking them through fat and muscles until they drew blood crossed his mind-

Changmin opened his mouth, another snarl ripping from his tightened throat -and his ears twitched when he heard the boy gasp in horror, his insides lurched, when he felt his small body moving in the night, trying to hide away from him -but all his senses were sharpened, on the edge of tearing with tension, and the small waves of heat, the delicious scent the boy was still emitting, thick with fear by now, was pure torture for Changmin.

He could sense the boy crouching down behind one of the thick branches of the giant oak he was hiding behind, and the young vampire would have smirked if his insides and his mind weren't so busy screaming at him to make his damn move already.

Changmin wet his lips, his saliva thick with anticipation, knees flexing, his body tensing to capture the boy with one fluent movement-

When out of nowhere a voice called out of the forests.

Changmin froze, utterly irritated, and then snapped out from something like a trance, the young vampire blinking rapidly and shaking his head looking dazed, while the voice continued to call out...his name? Changmin blinked.


He made the mistake to turn to the direction from where the voice was coming from, even though his whole being screamed at him not to turn his back to the still hiding boy.

Changmin heard the cracking of wood beneath naked feet, the rustle of leaves and the soft crushing sound of soil sticking to skin, and when he instinctively turned his body back to the big oak, he felt the boy was gone, running through the forest as fast as possible to get away from him.

A terrible snarl bordering on a frustrated scream ripped deep from Changmin's throat and he tensed, ears twitching as he tried to make out in which direction the boy had run to hid from him-


Changmin jerked around, annoyance high, his insides clenching, tightening, begging to turn around and run for the boy, but that voice was Yoochun screaming for him, and there was panic so evident in his tone that Changmin forced his everything to ignore the intense screams of his instincts, instead concentrated to locate the exact direction from where the shouts of his name came from.

Changmin fully forced his body around, something cold and ugly washing down his spine and leaving him shuddering, as he took a step away from the big oak and deeper into the eastern forests. He reluctantly looked back through the trees, his black eyes searching a last time for the boy, but he only managed to make out the faint outlines of the human village in the far distance, something deeper than disappointment suffocating him as he took another step in Yoochun's direction.

As soon as he slipped past a wall of trees surrounding the oak like a natural circle, the ugly feeling left him, just as his insides relaxed and his body lost its tension. He felt lightheaded, as if a heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders and he breathed in the aromatic air of the nightly forest, feeling how the cold air cleaned his head of a hazy mist, which had spun around his head, confusing him and dulling his senses.

He turned around a tree, headed left and walked right into his panicked best friend. Their bodies crashed with an ugly sound, echoing off the huge trees, and the younger vampire saw Yoochun's eyes going wide with shock when Changmin so suddenly appeared in front of him.

Yoochun gasped, then cursed, swallowing down a scream, but couldn't help a muttered: “Bloody hell...!!!”

Changmin did not wait for Yoochun to get over his shock. He gritted his teeth for a tiny split second and then snapped, his mind recoiling from the memory of the boy's scent, which -thanks to Yoochun- was now lost in the cool, nightly forest breeze. -Not that Changmin couldn't hunt it down, but he would never do that. Not him, Shim Changmin, hunting after the -admittedly rather delicious- scent of a lowly human child.

Changmin caught himself glancing back at the village where he assumed the boy to be, surely hiding at his parents' home, by now, and quickly, and immensely annoyed with himself, turned around to face Yoochun, only to meet a nervous glance. Changmin frowned and then noticed how Yoochun shot quick and worried glances in the direction of the village too. Changmin blinked as realization drew to him.

“They send you, because they thought I'd slaughter a human village, just because I was angry and jealous?”

Yoochun froze and Changmin, startled that he had admitted his ridiculous emotions himself and with searing embarrassment heating up his cheeks, watched his best friend avoiding his gaze all of a sudden. Not that Changmin wasn't secretly thankful for it- it gave him the few seconds he needed to have his facial features back under control.

Changmin licked his lips in angry irritation as the silence grew and Yoochun did not look up at him.

“Look I...I did not vent my anger on those humans. In fact- I....was just about to return home.”, in the suddenly too doubtful silence Changmin could almost hear Yoochun not buying this. He made another angry sound.

“Well I wasn't even noticing that I crossed the border to the eastern forest!” Changmin suddenly remembered the deadly empty air of the unnatural forest he had crossed with a hurtful jerk of his stomach, but decided to keep the creepy (and looking back on it now: slightly embarrassing) reason he had dashed like a madman from one forest to another to himself.

Yoochun looked up as the silence stretched, Changmin loosing himself in the creepy memory of that terrifying forest. Yoochun's black eyes went wide as he saw the uneasiness bordering on slight fear in his best friend's eyes.

But Changmin really couldn't help the fear. Not with his knowledge and the million of books he had read, not with his experience and countless years of his life he was able to explain what he had felt in the air and around him in that dead forest.

Something dark had touched his soul, something evil had passed his body, leaving only the fleeting fragment of a whispered kiss on his skin, but Changmin felt a numbing coldness, something utterly foreign, which had his instincts recoiling, lingering in the air around him, reluctant to let go of him, a being of the light, of the good, of the living.

Changmin shuddered, tried to get rid of the irrational feeling of something alien poisoning his insides and finally focused back to the present and onto Yoochun's face.

Yoochun was still looking at his best friend, worry and something which looked much like alert in his soft eyes and Changmin gritted his teeth- all thoughts of the eerie forest forgotten, as annoyance was rising in amazing speed.

“Yoochun! Fucking- I didn't-” Changmin took a deep breath to relax the angrily boiling gastric acid inside of him.

“Yoochun. I just- I went out to wander around. Not to kill humans. You want to check on those worthless lowlifes? Well go on, I won't stop you, make sure to count them all so that there are no secret doubts left like...of me ripping off a baby girl's head while eating her mother alive.”

Yoochun licked his lips while Changmin's eyes narrowed down to angry slits. The older vampire tilted his head and then smiled a little, nervousness messing up the corners so that they twitched with tension. Changmin felt his annoyance almost snapping.

“You do know that your eyes look super mismatched when you narrow them like this, don't you dearest Minnie?”

Changmin had to blink at the randomness of that sentence, but saw his best friend relaxing, his eyes softening as he reached out for Changmin's still tense and angry body. The younger vampire relaxed into the small hug his best friend gave him, and when Yoochun pulled back, Changmin was smiling too. Maybe a bit irritated, but the annoyance was gone, so was the anger and the frustrating feeling of fear he so rarely felt paralyzing his brave personality.

Yoochun turned his back to the human village he just minutes ago had worried about and then looked back at Changmin over his shoulder, an apologetic expression in his eyes.

“Minnie, we really have to head back to your mansion now.” He bit his lips, and Changmin knew that instant that his best friend had been dying to say the following sentences from the second onwards he had found him in the forests.

“I was ordered to find you, to make sure you did not do something stupid- but seeing that you are perfectly fine, just the snarky, lovable, arrogant bastard you always are, I really want to go back to my mate site- not that I wouldn't love chatting with you in the middle of a cold and nightly forest-”

Changmin sighed, stretched some delicious, torturous seconds feigning irresolution, but then nodded, smirking as he saw the immense relieve twisting his best friend's unsure lips into a happy smile.

“You're so disgustingly in love.”

Yoochun licked his lips before answering. “You'd be too, Minnie. If your mate would happen to have Junsu's ass.”

“Junsu, huh. Whatever.” Changmin rolled his eyes, but dashed after Yoochun, who did not even wait to listen to Changmin's replay.

All thoughts of the small human boy, hiding from his eyes behind the safety of a tree, were gone from his mind, as soon as the two vampires reached Changmin's grad mansion and Yoochun introduced his cute human mate to his best friend.

The hidden boy's large eyes, black, with moonlight-silver pooling and dancing in the bottomless orbs, were silently watching him from somewhere deep inside his subconscious, when Changmin reached out and touched Yoochun's little mate's skin, Junsu officially becoming a part of their brotherly entwined, eternal life as Changmin let the changed human become a part of him.

At the back of Changmin's mind, were thoughts were lost and sounds and colors were locked away from the surface, the boy's large eyes blinked, lashes fluttering in a last attempt to reach out for Changmin's attention, and then closed to sleep, embedded in sweetest oblivion, until the day they met again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Changmin woke up to the faint echo of a child's voice softly singing a melancholic lullaby, the last note blending into almost hurting sweet loneliness, vibrating at the back of the vampire's mind, until it faded away, leaving nothing but a faint touch in the emptiness that was Changmin's conscious.

It took Changmin a moment to realize with his sleep-clouded mind that the sweet voice was only in his head, leaving a bitter tang on the back of his tongue, while a strange sense of nostalgia washed over him. He instinctively knew that the soft voice belonged to his missing mate, though Changmin couldn't remember the boy ever singing.

With a sigh the vampire sat up from his sleeping position on his bed and dully looked around the dimly lit twilight of his bedroom.

His apartment was silent, Yoochun and Junsu still sleeping, as it was barely past the setting of the sun.

Changmin silently walked the three steps to his bedroom window and with his dark eyes narrowing in anticipation, pulled back the heavy curtains, butter-golden sunlight falling in fain but warming rays through the glass, bathing Changmin's tall form in a faint, red-glowing light.

After a millennium spent in the eternal-impervious darkness of the underground-refugees, huge cities the vampires had built deep inside the safe secrecy of the deep earth, Changmin could get never enough of the brilliant and spectacular play of colors the sky was soaked with.

Changmin opened his window and breathed in the aromatic air full of sunshine and life.

The vampire watched the orange-gold of the sun setting behind a mountain on the far horizon of his vision and how a single sun-ray pulsed at the blurry outlines of the dying sun, refracting in a deep, bloody red.

Out of nowhere, Changmin's steady pulse quickened, as a sudden image of rich and liquid red, gushing out from palepale skin, flashed before his eyes, the image so sudden and intense that the blazing red left a negative of black and white imprinted on his closed eyelids.

Changmin's eyes fluttered in irritation, before his mouth gasped a silent 'O', as light brown hair flickered in front of his closed eyes, big eyes blinking up at him from somewhere deep inside his long forgotten memories.

The boy sat on the floor, clad in a loose and white shirt, his pale arms hugging his legs, his small head titled to the side, laying on his knees, his big eyes unfocused, dark lashes kissing his cheeks as he lazily sat in what seemed to be golden afternoon sunlight.

Changmin's breath caught as he saw with his eyes closed how the sun-rays danced upon his long lost mate's fair hair, the boy's full lips moving softly, though Changmin couldn't hear a sound.

A flash of light, and the next second the boy nervously looked up at him, before suddenly shrinking back from something -and Changmin needed as second to understand that the boy in his memory was backing away from him, Changmin, who's shadow fell upon the on the floor sitting boy's crouched body.

Something icy cold tickled down Changmin's spine, as the vampire watched his sudden memories with growing fearful anticipation, acid churning his insides, because Changmin could feel something dreadful looming up, just about to unwrap itself.

The last time when his memories had attacked him to haunt him with the sins and tragedies he had committed so longlong time ago had been half a millennium ago, so the sudden attack left the vampire shocked and unable to force the pictures out of his head.

Full of panic, with the utmost reluctance, and with his stomach flipping in uneasiness, Changmin watched how the boy's eyes widened, how his pale arms came up to protect his small face with his trembling hands, how his small body shivered violently on the marble floor, which Changmin recognized to be the one of his grand mansion, back when he had lived his noble life among his race in the safety of the sacred spheres.

For a split second Changmin felt his throat tightening and he chocked on homesickness so suffocating that he felt the corners of his eyes stinging, his mouth twitching as he bit back the urge to cry. And then he saw the boy's widened eyes pressing shut in panic, full lips shouting out something Changmin couldn't hear, arms protectively tightening around his small body, while his back hit the hard surface of a bitter wall.

The tall shadow, which Changmin knew to be his own, followed the boy with predatory steps, coming to a halt as soon as Changmin realized that the boy was trapped and had no room to back away from him any further.

Gravity shifted sideways, as reality turned upside-down, and Changmin had a split second in which he was able to let out a small, helpless moan of fright, before his conscious was once again sucked down the stormy surface of his memories.


Changmin lashed out and his balled fist hit the tender skin of Jaejoong's right cheek hard enough to break the bones.

There was a sickening crushing sound, as the boy's head snapped sideways, his small and crouched form falling over to the side from the sheer force of the blow.

At the same time, the young vampire felt an arching jerk inside of him, his connection to his mate desperately begging him to stop, to calm down, pleading him to stop hurting Jaejoong, the desperation so intense that his stomach lurched with a sickening sensation.

But Changmin raged, reached out for his mate's hair with rough fingers, twisting them inside the fair locks, almost ripping them out as he pulled on them harshly near the roots, the boy screaming in pain and then wailing panicky as the fingers tightened for a firmer grip.

Changmin backhanded the boy, knuckles first, over and over again, until the pale skin cut and then burst, until the bones broke, until he felt smashed eyes bleeding out in thick and viscid streams under his hardened fist, until teeth cracked, until the boy's whole face was a bloody mess, barely recognizable anymore.

Jaejoong tried to scream, but only managed some choked, gurgled gasps full of terror at the same time as Changmin felt a knot tightening in his stomach, cutting off his air, while his mate received punch after punch.

“Shut your fucking, disgusting voice.”

His knuckles bored inside raw flesh, blood splattering left and right with rich and wet sounds, thick droplets hitting the ground, some landing on Changmin's rage-heated skin.

“Who the fuck do you think wants to hear you sing?”

Jaejoong managed to cry out, sobbing- full of panic, as his mate's fist connected with his broken skin again, but dared not to defend himself as Changmin continued to demolish his face.

Changmin was raging, his knuckles smeared in blood, teeth cracking- as he pressed them together as hard as possible in his blind fury. He ignored the first waves of connection-shared-pain washing down his spine and tightened his grip on his mate's hair, body bending down to scream in his face again.

“Who the fuck. Do you think. Wants to hear you sing!!!”

His fist crashed back against the boy's unresisting face, Jaejoong's head bonelessly snapping left and right at every received blow.

Changmin only stopped when the boy went lifeless in his claw-like grip.

A sharp pain cut through his vampire body from his head to his toes, the after-glow clearing his anger-hazed mind for a second, his eyes falling upon his motionless mate's body, taking in the damage he had inflicted upon it.

Jaejoong's body was only faintly twitching, lost impulses shooting signals to a unresponsive brain, synapses cut and broken, not able to carry the information to where they belonged. Blood was oozing out from everywhere from his face with a spluttering sound, his whole body motionless otherwise, too broken to even curl up on itself.

Breathing heavily, and with anger still licking up and down his spine, pulsating in his head, whispering to hurt, to rip, to kill from the depth of his mind, Changmin's eyes bore onto the sight of his small mate's burst face.

The young vampire shuddered, tried to calm down, while watching thick and dark blood rapidly oozing out of the many massive wounds all over the boy's face. He snapped out of his rage without really realizing it, his firm grip on his mate softening as he absentmindedly cradled the broken body into his arms.

Something hurting touched a spot deep inside of him, twisted his heart and arched in his chest. Changmin gasped and felt his connection fluttering, reaching our for Jaejoong to protect, to heal, to keep him safe from Changmin's body. The young vampire chocked as regret tightened his throat, his body shivering at the intensity of his remorse.

He had not wanted to do this.

There was a place where Changmin assumed his mate's disturbingly too full lips normally to be, where Jaejoong's broken cheek-bones shimmered in the bloody-wet center of a gaping wound. Several bone-splinters cut through swelling and bruising skin. Most of the boy's teeth were broken, stuck in his half-cut tongue or in what little was left of his crushed lips.

He had not wanted to do this.

His big eyes were gone, beaten out, Changmin noticed when he stared down at crimson-black and empty sockets, his own eyes starting to burn as he felt the regenerative process starting to bring his little mate back to life.

He had not wanted to do this. Had not wanted to do this. He had not wanted to do this.

The silent twitching tuned into violent shivering and then the boy coughed out a gush of blood, his small body shaking in Changmin's arms, as he desperately tried to take choking intakes of air, his fingers blindly tightening in Changmin's expensive shirt, fisting the fabric, as searing pain washed over his small body, burning up the damage to melt him back into perfection.

Changmin felt half of the pain burning through his body, but had only eyes for Jaejoong's small fingers reaching out for him, his thin arms trembling at the effort to find him. Changmin's chest arched and he carefully pressed his little mate's body closer to his own, pressing Jaejoong's face against his neck, one of his hands gently supporting the boy's head at his tender nape.

Their connection pulsed, as Jaejoong's soul desperately tried to reach for his mate's, while his body struggled to find its way back to the living.

Changmin moaned as he shared his mate's pain, while Jaejoong's body regenerated as fast as possible. The young vampire rocked the boy even closer to his body, their togetherness easing the intense pain, while Jaejoong's fingers gripped and pulled on Changmin's shirt, his eyelids fluttering feverishly as a new pair of eyes burned and melted and formed behind them.

Jaejoong gasped, a faint, barely audible cry full of pain slipping past his regenerated lips, and Changmin felt how his mate's soul clung onto their connection, on him, Changmin, the stronger half of the whole, the only safety in the darkness of pre-living, where souls so easily got lost, swallowed by death and captured in emptiness to be forgotten.

And Changmin felt how Jaejoong's soul was confused, frightened to get lost, to get hurt, he, Changmin, the only safety the small changed human knew to cling on to in its helplessness.

Changmin felt the frightened hesitation, as Jaejoong's connection wrapped and entwined with his own, the boy afraid to get rejected again, but Changmin could feel his endless yearning to get loved under the thick layer of hopelessness.

'Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me.'

The young vampires throat clenched, as he felt those pale fingers pressing close to his skin, everything of the boy yearning for his touch, his love, his affection, even though Changmin had hurt him so much only a few heartbeats ago.

Changmin gently rocked their bodies to the rhythm of Jaejoong's faintly beating heart, his hands putting pressure on that small body, as he pulled the boy against himself as close as possible. He held his little mate safe and warm in his strong arms, his lips forming whispers of encouraging words full of comfort, while Jaejoong struggled through his regeneration.

Changmin pressed a kiss on the forever disheveled light-brown locks, just as Jaejoong's eyes fluttered open, a silent gasp leaving his pink lips, as he awakened from the heavy arms of death. He shivered, his weak human instincts telling him to struggle out of Changmin's arms, his connection begging him to stay close, to save Changmin from something deep and suffering neither the young vampire, nor Jaejoong could really understand.

Changmin only felt the boy shivering in both fear and longing, when he felt tears of hurt and confusion wetting the fabric of his shirt, right where one of his hands still softly pressed the boy's face against his chest.

Changmin kept silent, listened to the silent sobs, the endless dripdripdrip of tears, but held the boy close to his body, until the violent shivers subsided, until small fingers found their way back to his shirt, until Jaejoong's body searched for more closeness on its own.

'Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me...'

Changmin closed his eyes as he felt his little mate slowly falling asleep in exhaustion, his frail body curling against his strong chest, seeking protection. For a moment's heartbeat he listened to Jaejoong's slowing pulse, the softening of air he breathed in, the almost soundless fluttering of long eyelashes against pale cheeks, before he felt himself slipping out of conscious too.

Behind his closed eyelids he could see the faint pastel edges of his mate's dreams. Blurry, fluttering. Faint colors twisting and melting, forming worlds, free of gravitation.

Jaejoong's fingers above Changmin's heart twitched faintly, just before the young vampire sunk deep into sleep's soothing oblivion, jerking Changmin's conscious back to attention for a small moment.

Colors intensified, skies dropped, stars melted, and Changmin felt his mate's end of the connection whispering to him, correcting him with a longing so intense that the young vampire felt like suffocating on adoration.

Gravitation was Changmin, as was the sky and the stars, worlds and colors.

A silent whisper, not much more than a faint emotion, caressed his skin lovingly, washed over him with a hesitant, yet precious sensation and Changmin felt Jaejoong's connection, his soul, kissing their silent togetherness, love embracing the young vampire's soul, as Jaejoong's dreams wrapped their pastel-tender arms around both their forms.

Changmin's arms tightened around his precious mate, his mind finally slipping away to wander Jaejoong's worlds and horizons, while their connection pulsed and glowed, both ends entwining lovingly, while their heartbeats synchronized and their souls connected.



Changmin gasped as his memories let go of him, leaving him shivering in pain and remorse, while Jaejoong's sweet voice echoed at the back of his mind.


Changmin took a shuddering intake of air, tears rolling down his cheeks without him really noticing it, and he knew, he knew what his lost mate would whisper next.

'I love you.'

Changmin stopped breathing, hurt so intense he felt like getting ripped apart cutting through his body, while he soundlessly screamed, screamed, screamed for his mate, while he burned with longing so thick and suffering that he felt like dying from the inside.

'Please...I love you.' Changmin let out an agonized sob. 'Don't hurt me'

Changmin closed his eyes.


Jaejoong was dreaming, floating in darkness, a feeling so familiar and just as frightening as it was comforting.

There was a voice calling out his name, disturbing the gently floating waves of oblivion, making the cool and heavy waves of the dark pulsing with a washing sound.

The boy frowned, pale cheeks rubbing over bony knees on which he had rested his heavy head upon. His fingers around his thin arms twitched, and then the voice was nearer, fuller, intruding his weightless mind.


Dark and lush eyelashes fluttered, before the boy's eyes blinked open to blinding light.

Before him was a pure yet bleak nothingness- but the edges of his vision were twisting, blurring, forming, contours becoming sharper, outlines becoming deeper, worlds materializing so fast out of nowhere, that in the split second of the confused blink of an eye the whole nothingness was filled out with an alien surrounding.

”Jaejoong...” -It was fainter now and the boy titled his head, listening, the voice somewhat familiar...

Jaejoong shivered, and with his arms protectively tightening around his body, he unbent his body from its sitting position, knees stretching out, relaxing, fingers loosening their tight grip on his flesh.

A tingling sensation was in the air, the sound of water, an ocean, getting sucked away from the shore, and Jaejoong felt a suction on his body, like...like reality was shifting, like his body was pulled somewhere, falling away from the here and now of his mind.

“Can you hear me? Do you...Can you open your eyes?”

Jaejoong frowned as a new voice was back, totally unfamiliar, but more intense and nearer than the other, using a strange and twisted version of his mate's sophisticated language.

His mate...

The boy's eyelids fluttered, lashes brushing over his skin, but this time it felt different, more real, like everything around him had an actual substance. Jaejoong frowned and felt his lips pouting out of reflex, soft skin rubbing against soft skin, and he shrunk back from that frightening sensation, his mind recoiling from the foreign feeling, but the shock pulled him away from the heavy spheres of his mind.

”Please...if you hear me- Please open your eyes...”

Jaejoong gasped, and a chocking load of air burned through his body, filling his lungs, which expanded in shock, his whole body jolting from the sudden body-reaction, as if it wasn't used to work impulses anymore.

Jaejoong curled up on himself, his arms tightening around his stomach, lips twisting to release panicked shrieks and cries full of terror, because this felt so wrong, this felt so wrong, this felt so wrong.

He moaned weakly, shuddering at the loud roar of that small sound in his pulsing, sensitive ears, his mind almost collapsing, as millions of information-lightnings shot up his brain, overwhelming him with their soundless screams.

The air was burning, the smell acid in his nostrils, his heartbeat pounding out his body, his skin tingling where cool emptiness hit it, itching where a rough surface rubbed over it, his bones and muscles were searing, cracking, tendons stretching with arching sensations...

Jaejoong screamed as his mind forced him to be overly aware of his body, the feeling alien to him after he had spent an eternity cut free from it, his everything banned in his lost mind, which now was back connected with his shell out of nowhere.

“Calm down, calm down. Please. Do you understand me? Please, open your eyes, please.”

Jaejoong shrieked, as unfamiliar hand's reached out for him, their touch burning through his skin, while he finally opened his eyes in utter terror.

Harsh light blinded him for a second, his eyes hurting, burning, as they had forgotten the sunlight over the countless centuries spent in utter darkness. Jaejoong blinked, tried to see through the blurry haze in front of his vision, tried to make sense of what he saw with his mind dangerously close to shattering from all the sensory impressions he couldn't understand.

In front of him, close to his paralyzed face, was a man, his eyes full of worry, his lips twisted into a panicked gasp as he stared down at him.

Jaejoong's instincts jerked awake with a painful shout, screaming at him to get away from that stranger, forcing his body to back away, until he hit the rough surface of...a wall? Jaejoong felt violent shivers running down his spine, while his eyes widened in panic, his head twitching left and right, taking in his surrounding for the first time, but not understanding what he was seeing.

White walls, was that marble? And strange metallic devices, bottled-up fluids in all colors of the rainbow, bright lights above him, but Jaejoong couldn't see the sun, nor a candle, and...more white, hurting his eyes, blinding him, confusing him, and Jaejoong hurriedly closed his eyes, head spinning, because nothing made any sense.

His nostrils flared as the next impression of sense forced its way through his body. There was a slightly salty scent in the air, barely noticeable with the musky sweet scent of an invisible woody forest dominating everything around them***, but Jaejoong's eyes widened as he filtered it, his body pressing flat against the wall, memories of what had happened the last time when he had been this close to a human being flashing in front of his eyes.

Jaejoong cried out in horror, his instincts begging him to run, but he had no energy, had no power in his frail body to defend himself. With his big eyes widening in utter fright, he watched the human slowly stepping closer again, his hands in front of his body as if to show him that he did not wanted to harm him.

Jaejoong sobbed, his small body shivering, while his hurting eyes flickered from left to right, trying to find a way out, a way to run, but only falling upon the unfamiliar, alien and thoroughly unnatural surrounding. His eyes shot back to the human as the man stopped right in front of him, his body bending down on Jaejoong's level.

The man's eyes were wide with worry still, his white teeth digging into his fleshy lower-lip, brown hair falling into his handsome face, almost covering his gentle eyes.

Strangely, Jaejoong felt his body relax without intending to, but even with intense panic almost eating up all his sanity, a small piece of him was admiring the man, as Jaejoong had never seen a human this beautiful before.

“Do you...understand what I am saying?”

His voice was soft, gentle. Even with his panicky mind, and that man's really strange use of language, Jaejoong understood that it was supposed to calm him. He looked up at the man, wincing slightly as the strange, harsh light cut even more into his still hurting eyes. His vision blurred, before tears dripped down his cheeks, his eyelashes clumping at the wetness.

The man licked his lips nervously, before clearing his throat, startling Jaejoong who jumped in alert at the sudden and too loud sound. The man winced at the same time Jaejoong shrunk back again, pale arms coming up to wrap around his small form protectively.

The man's eyebrows furrowed with regret, eyes impossibly full of concern, as he took a small step backwards, sighing in relieve as he saw the boy relaxing slightly.

“Do you know where you are? Do you understand me?”

Jaejoong stared blankly at the man, vision still blurry from his tears, his mind desperately trying to follow the way too fast track of events. He saw the man tilting his head slowly, a doubtful expression replacing the worry in his eyes, before a tanned hand came up -Jaejoong's body freezing back into tension- which softly was placed upon the man's own chest.

“My name is Yunho.” His hand pressed against his chest and Jaejoong somehow understood. He saw how the man- Yunho- took a deep breath.

“We found you, but have no idea what happened to you.” He hesitated a moment, staring expectantly into Jaejoong's frightened eyes, before continuing, his voice sounding less enthusiastic now, as if he was only telling the frightened boy formalities he had to, as Jaejoong was not showing any signs that he actually understood what the man was talking about.

“You are on planet earth. It's the 27th September, year 2010. This is the research and development facility of our nation's military intelligence service”

Jaejoong's mouth opened and he had no idea what the man was talking about. Yunho took another deep breath, before bending his upper body forward, now poorly concealed excitement in his eyes.

The next sentence, Jaejoong understood, was more to himself than to anyone else, as Yunho's eyes softened with confusion and his lips parted to whisper with a voice full of awe:

“What on earth are you?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - end of part three - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*french for: but of course.
**Jae is seven actually, but Changmin can't really tell.
*** Yunho's after-shave if you're wondering.

Next part: Chapter four A


A/N: chapter 3. I want to be honest with you, I had a writers block on this
for over two month. This chapter was super hard to write for me, but to end this admission
of utter fail with something pleasant: I can't wait to write chapter four :)

Where you shocked and confused with the end? I really hope I managed to surprise
you all with this unheralded twist. Yes, this whole alternate universe is actually our world,
our reality, and Jaejoong awoke on Monday the 27th September 2010. Oh the coincidence ;)
But how...and why? And what has Yunho to do with it? Hahaha. Next chapter will be fun.

Anyways... 19 pages!!! why the hell do my chapters get longer and longer?
Considering that this is a wannabe-interlude, this chapter should have been half as
long as the last, but nooooo.

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( Post a new comment )
[identity profile] kanabaka1.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 01:15 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 01:15 pm (UTC)
dammit you beat me spotting my own update??? DDD:
(no subject) - [identity profile] kanabaka1.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 01:15 pm (UTC)
spot for you, jams :)
love you bebee ♥
[identity profile] wynnetimate.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
Hahah, I love that you were beaten at spotting your own update. Oh well, second place will do! :P

Oh, baby baby baby, this is brilliant. I re-read the whole thing from the beginning (which is why it's taken me so long to comment lol) so that I could better give you an opinion of the ending to chapter three, like you wanted.

And homg, it fits so well. And I am so upset because now this means you'll have to take time to write chapter four, and I would totally love to have the rest of this addictive story, like, right now.

I will gush at you about how brilliantly amazing this is when I catch you on msn. AND YOU WILL LISTEN AND NOT BE ALL BASHFUL ABOUT IT. Because this is fucking amazing.

Love you. Fuck.

(no subject) - [identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] pawshingo.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 01:32 pm (UTC)
Jaejoong's reaction to Yunho really mirrors his confusion, fear. Your description of each character's feelings are excellent! Changmin better find Jae soon. Your chapters long? No, not at all! hehehe!
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC)
oh good!!! I was a bit afraid that Jae's emotions would
be a bit shallow to read, glad that you proved me wrong :)

Glad that you enjoyed reading hun ♥ You're one who was
with me and Find Me from the very beginning, so I'm happy
that you're still here, reading :)

thank you so much
(no subject) - [identity profile] pawshingo.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
[identity profile] kattan69.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 02:02 pm (UTC)
I feel so sad for Jae....being treated so badly and 'killed' so horribly in his life. Just hope Yunho would do a better job to help Jae in this life time as compare to his old life....a second chance for Jae to find himself and be loved.
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
Jae had no luck in his life. like...no luck
at all :( I do feel bad for him, I do!!!!
anyways, now there's Yunho to make him feel
a little bit better ♥ you'll see in chapter 4.

thanks so much for reading and commenting, I'm
glad you enjoyed reading :)
[identity profile] captainmarvel.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 02:02 pm (UTC)
WOW 19 pages?

:O I wonder how Yunho will play into this.
Beautifully written as always.
I really hope Changmin finds Jaejoong soon.
I really like the twist at the end.

I've missed your writing sooooooooooooooooo much!

Update again soon please.

Thank You ♥
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
19 pages hun!!! T___T
but yeah...an update sob
I'm so sorry for updating so slow
these days!!!

Yunho....everything about him will be
explained in chapter 4.

thank you so much for commenting, I missed reading
your comments haha :)
[identity profile] quixoticfox.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 04:36 pm (UTC)
And I thought I couldn't get anymore hooked. I'm enthralleddddd, I need to know what happens next soon, I feel like my insides will leave my body violently it I don't D: Gosh, I really enjoyed reading this update, the details really added a whole new layer to this story. Ah, I guess Jaejoong's beauty must have been to...progressive for his time, but surely now no one can deny it?
I love that Yunho is going to be in this! Because I will cherish every little bit of yunjae you might give ^_^
I don't know if you've read it, but the decadence in the manner in which the vampires lived in(prior to the present) and how they seemed to be so intellectually sophisticated yet so ruthlessly inhuman, kinda reminds me a little of Blood and Gold(Anne rice)
lovely update, hope Changmin finds Jaejoong soon
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
oooh, intense :) super super glad you liked it,
I am trying hard for all my regular readers and
am always happy to see them satisfied ♥ thank you
so much for reading all my weird stuff hun :)

Jae's beauty was just...too western in a world in
which only asian beauty was acceptable...maybe now
the poor boy will be left alone with his looks.

YunJae :) you might look out for that, I won't
promise too much, but YunJae will be a major part
of chapter 4

I ready like...very few vampire novels. to be honest,
twilight was like...the only one so far I remember, and
I did not really enjoy that series.

lovely comment hun ♥ thank you so much :)
[identity profile] ting5.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 05:47 pm (UTC)
Whew another awesome long fulfilling chapter~~how you described things just 'wow'

Now that Yunho had found Jae after being alone, trapped for so long, I wonder what will ensue next~~~

My bias talking nw, I freaking love the way Yoochun just went to the market and 'poof' found his destined mate, Su :D

[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:21 pm (UTC)
I told you that I'd update ;)
I'm so glad you liked it haha ♥

hmn. well. with Jae being so teeeerribly
lonely. and Yunho being so *kind*...:DDD

I'm really sorry that there was such a lack
of YooSu in this chapter T_T I hope to give you
more of them next time, but chapter 4 is still a
bit blurry so I can't promise much.

thank you so much for reading and commenting haha,
suuuuper glad you liked it ♥ :)
(no subject) - [identity profile] ting5.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 10:04 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 11:02 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [identity profile] ting5.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 08:11 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] jihae-shii.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:10 pm (UTC)
waah...sugoi sugoi! read all the chapters in one go :D and adorable yoosu seme su but still he seems to be the uke XDDD and poor jaemin D: find joongie min! O.O thanks for the update! :D
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC)
thanks :)
wow all 3 chapters in one go.
how long did you read on them haha?

thank you for reading and commenting, glad
you liked it :DD
[identity profile] toni-luv.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
Should I be happy or should I just simply pull a Changmin rage at the cliffhanger? I luv your mind and writing. I hate myself for taking ten minutes to understand the story, but then again this story line makes your think more. So the past millennium of failure of Changmin not able to find his mate, forced to hide into the shadows from the outnumbered human race populations on the sacred hunters. Into which since Jaejoong takes some of the half abilities of slowly aging from Changmin's so so so snail age growing of the mating bond they have with each other. Took me awhile to process the fact that no matter how much Jaejoong has been hurt he regenerates from Changmin's ability. Question : How did the military find Jaejoong, while they were on a mission or they got a tip off from the local yocals about the myths of kid who ages so slowly and regenerates after serious damage injuries, after a few while or years watching this kid inside their lab who never opened his eyes and never ate is strange for them? You know what it'd be so cool and mean at the same time when the scientist just started experimenting on Jae in Jae eyes torturing him after taking a few chunks of him and watching him grow his new ones so quickly that Changmin gets bulldozed hard with this feeling, the reconnection molded back twice as hard that Changmin can zero in on him and just charge in from the bricked wall without breaking a sweat standing by Jaejoong's unconscious state in the middle of regenerating... red flash of rage ready to explode on the MI people. Gaw got me so excited...=D
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 09:46 pm (UTC)
hahah well glad you enjoyed it enough to hate me for the cliffhanger ;)

about your questions: most of them will be answered in the following
chapter, so I can't say much...and about how or if Min will actually
his little mate...well that's still a secret :X
but I can promise that I'll give my best so it won't be boring.

glad you enjoyed it, and that it made you think a little. I admit the
plot of Find Me is difficult and confusing, so if you have any questions,
don't hesitate to ask :)

as always...thank you for following my stuff hun ♥ :)
[identity profile] namelesshachi.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:44 pm (UTC)
WUHU!!! ~ *reads and ignores work*
xD kidding! read later!
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 10:59 pm (UTC)

come back and tell me how you liked it bebee.
you were with me and find me from the beginning,
can't wait to hear how you liked it :DDDD ♥
(no subject) - [identity profile] namelesshachi.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 05:46 am (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:51 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] kurogoma.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 06:56 pm (UTC)
glad to see this updated. :)

love the details, it took a while for me to savor them.
i am not sure, but right now, jaemin are separated by two alternate universes?
i really hope there is some way for them to find each other soon, after all, they have a connection that's unbreakable.

pls don't turn this into yunjae. i have been rooting for jaemin since the beginning so it will be a bummer if it turns out that way
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 07:09 pm (UTC)
don't worry because of the YunJae :)
I admit, chapter 4 will have some YunJae...maybe.
BUT this still IS a MinJae ♥ it's the main and
priority pairing, so please don't worry :)

MinJae are not separated by two alternate universes.
they were separated through countless centuries, but
somehow (and we'll learn in chapter 4 how) Jae awakened
in year 2010...million years after he got captured.

basically...Changmin's vampire-world is our world but before
our history started. the vampire race was ruling over the word
when we were nothing more than cavemen and -women :)
(we have an alternate earth-history here)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the update, thank you so much for
commenting and telling me your ideas :)
(no subject) - [identity profile] kurogoma.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 07:20 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 07:36 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] mimz-song.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 09:55 pm (UTC)

njsrngjsngjngjfg man...dmfksdkgjskfg tutu~ SO EXCITING 8D
I wonder why Yunho asked that >.>
I mean...how the heck does Jae look like for him to be asking him that? >.>
*cough* Update soon XD hhh skdnjkfngsjn shit...loved this so much 8DDDDD
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 11:04 pm (UTC)
mimzie ♥ :)
glad you enjoyed it!!!
next chapter will answer all your
questions, I promise :)

ilu, post some more pictures of your puppy ;_;
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[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 11:07 pm (UTC)
you're always screaming when I update find me :)
I'll take that as a compliment like...woooow:
I made traci -awesome writer that she is, dudette
of the thousand plots, goddess of kink- incoherent
like this. bwaaaahm. ♥ :)
[identity profile] mariasanta23.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 10:51 pm (UTC)
yey!!! thankyou for the update..one of the many things i like about your writing is how detailed and beautiful your stories are. keep up the good work......will patiently wait for the next chap =)
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC)
wow thank you ♥
I'm super happy you enjoyed it.
comments like this always make me
want to work harder and faster...so
uhmn. thanks for reading and commenting
and thanks for the motivation ♥ :)
[identity profile] n3uromanc3r.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 11:05 pm (UTC)
Ohhh I saw you sweet wonderdeer icon and I really hoped it's a 'Find me' update, because you mentioned earlier that you were working on that story!

I really liked those Changmin-parts, now I feel closer to him, and despite his cruelty he's still a lovable person on his own special way I think. The sulking, neglected and jealous Changmin was a really amusing sight!

And their real first meeting was so fascinating to read, I liked how you built the whole thing from Changmin's strange and restless feelings during the annoying registration's procedure to the almost-meeting with the interruption of that alpha and later when he actually set eyes on Jaejoong first time.
Did Yoochun's sudden appearance really save the boy's life or just delayed to find each other? I don't know but I had a feeling that Yoochun felt that his exclusive place in Changmin's heart could be endangered by the strange power, which enchanted his friend, that's why he interfered. I didn't think he really thought Changmin would kill the whole tribe or even this one human-child...

Those flasback-scenes with Changmin's emerging pictures about his mate are still my favourites. I know it's mean, but I like that he's also suffering finally under the weight of those deeply buried memories.

Awwww the last part with Yunho and the awakened Jae! It sounds really interesting, I can't wait to read the next chapter! Is Yunho soldier or scientist? My first impression of him is that he's a nice person, please, don't make him betray Jaejoong!
Anyway I wonder how they found Jae, how he looks now, did he change since Changmin last saw him? I hope the endless pain and loneliness didn't make him mad just extremely cautious and mistrustful...

Update soon, I can't wait to see Jae to become acquainted with XXIst Century! [heart]

: Jeanette - ¿Por qué te vas?
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 27th, 2010 11:29 pm (UTC)
bwaaaaahwww. I must admit -though it's a bit embarrassing-
that I was so waiting for your comment ♥ :)

Changmin. a lot of my readers only think of him as a cruel bastard, but
he actually really isn't, he has his reasons, there is so much more about
him, things he doesn't even understand himself -so I really wanted to my
readers to deep-dive into his character some more. Don't know if I managed
though, you're the first to have some pity with him so far :/

You have a really interesting theory about the Yoochun-interrupting scene here.
when I read your comment my insides clenched in utter joy, because you are right.
the "order" from the elders is made up :) its fake, there was something else calling
Yoochun into the forests, just as in chapter 2, where Yoochun not *really* heard
Changmin scream in the forests. Somehow Yoochun seems to always appear out of nowhere
whenever Changmin is lost in the woods -coincidence much? ;)

I'm glad you enjoy the flashbacks. To be honest...from this chapter onwards they aren't
actually necessary anymore, since I think the readers understood the cruelty of MinJae's
relationship, back at the times the vampires ruled the world...but I just...dammit,
I love to write those violent scenes, after all this story's genre is horror and gore :)

All questions about Yunho will be answered in the next chapter, I promise. It will be full
of him, since he's really important to what will happen next. He seems like a nice person,
right? His character is a little bit naive, but you'll get to know more about him as soon
as I update, I swear ♥

Jaejoong is -in his way- too strong to loose it, also his connection with his mate doesn't
allow him to remain shattered and confused for too long. don't worry, I couldn't bear to hurt
Jae permanently -lol as totally stupid as it sounds with me constantly ripping him apart through
the length of 3 monstrous long chapters.

as always: thank you so much much much for your awesome comment ♥
you don't even know how much I love them. all of them. :)
[identity profile] jefansunite.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 01:14 am (UTC)
You have no idea how excited I was when I saw this. OMG NEW CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!! this fic is so addicting and your writing style has me on the edge of my seat! God, I can't wait for the next chapter! I have this intense urge to cheer and encourage Minnie on his quest to find Joongie. LOVE THIS. ♥♥♥
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:48 pm (UTC)
waah thank you :)
it's amazing me so much how everyone either
utterly hates Changmin (with passion I tell you)
or totally encourages him to finally find his mate haha.

since I love Changmin in this I'm happy that you want him
to find Jaejoong as fast as possible too. :D

thank you so much for reading and commenting ♥ :)
[identity profile] poppy-sky.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 05:00 am (UTC)

I love how you used today's date to set the time Jaejoong finally "wakes up" in.

I wouldn't, in a million years and infinity after that, want to be Jaejoong in your fic. Poor baby has to go through so much pain!
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:40 pm (UTC)
hi hunnie ♥ :)
glad to still see you here ♥
I can't believe you followed this from
the very beginning, I'm so happy!!!

I HAD to use the date I updated, it just
seemed so right and disturbing hahaha. I really
really want my readers to be a part of find me,
so adding our time and world was like an experiment in
that direction lol. glad you liked it ♥

I doubt anyone would like to be Jae in this one. Imagine
suffering for millions of years. I'd rather...idk. choose
not to exist at all? DD:

thanks for sticking with me and Find Me, I'm super glad
you still read it and did not forget about it :)
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[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:33 pm (UTC)
hahaha yeah. he beat Min to it :DDD
poor Jae though. so terrified :'D

thank you for reading and commentign, glad
you liked this too ♥ :)
[identity profile] every-journal.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 04:16 pm (UTC)
You posted the new chapter!!! I love every bit of it! ^^

It seems Changmin has some feelings for his mate after all. I'm glad about that (even if the bastard forgot all about him for a while).

The ending is really interesting... Does the fact that Jaejoong is awake mean that Changmin will be able to find him easier? And will the pain of being too far away from each other be back?

So many questions!!!! I'm happy you're excited for the 4th chapter (which means it will be here soon???)

Lots of love,
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:59 pm (UTC)
I posted it ♥ :)

Changmin's character isn't easy to understand.
He does not hate Jae, only the fact that he is so
ugly. He loves Jae as a mate, but can't love him
at the same time, thus his totally unbalanced out-
bursts :/

the pain of seperation is always suffered on both ends,
but the thing is...with both of them suffering through
endless pain through countless centuries... I doubt they
really notice the pain anymore D;

the fact that Jae awakened doesn't mean that the task to find
me gets any easier. Min still has to find him, their connection
could only give Min a hint if Min would happen to be near where
Jae is for instance :)

lots of love back ♥
chapter 4 will be all yours again ;)
[identity profile] yourfanforever.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:28 pm (UTC)
I love this so much!!

Woow, so much time passed and it seems that Changmin didn't even notice it.
How come Yunho found Jae first? Doesn't Jae and Min have a connection? Wouldn't Changmin be the first one to find him??

Did Yunho actually find Jae mummified?? o.o
and then he regenerated??

Sorry that I have so many questions hehe
I love your fics sosososo muuch!!
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 28th, 2010 10:32 pm (UTC)
I love youuuu ♥ you ask all he right questions
and I'm dying to answer them but I CAN'T -that's
what chapter 4 will be all about :) patience?

seriously, this comment made me laugh in warm
and fuzzy delight, because you just wondered
about all the things, all the things I
sooo wished my readers to wonder about :)

thank you so much for reading and commenting and
questioning and demanding and... ♥ thank you :)
[identity profile] ur-a-funny-1.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
omg everytime you update i get reminded of how awesome this fic is and i don't want to stop reading it~ it's so gooooooooooood (in a sad sort of way)

TT_TT poor changmin. poor jae. i need them to be alright~
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 08:32 pm (UTC)
hi bebee ♥ :)
glad you enjoyed the newest update!!!
want to update soon, but life is so busy.

I really want to make Jae and Min happy. But...
I can't make it too easy for them right? ;)

thank you for your comment, I'm so glad you're
following Find Me ♥ :)
[identity profile] ramapi.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
it took me from 12 pm to 6:22 am now to finish all the chapters.
i am sooo full of emotions now.i think i lost my sanity.
pls update *puppy eye*
the whole story line is mysterious & addictive & i was really scared & worried to death 4 JJ . each time u describe his features & moments icry.
i love you soo much for showing me kinda of emotions i have never felt at least for 6 hours on run .
Good Luck in all & have a wonderful day.
Peace .
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 08:20 pm (UTC)
WOW, almost 6,5 hours???? that's insane!!!
my chapters really ARE too long!!! :(
but I'm glad you still enjoyed it, even though
it's sooooo...extended.

wow, you were really into it, weren't you? :)
this makes me so happy!!!! ♥ thank you so much
for giving Find Me a try and for your awesome
comment too ♥
[identity profile] ramapi.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 03:31 am (UTC)
i have sooooooooooooooooooo many qz now ,but why was he kidnapped ? why did changmin was soooo cruel to him? how did yunho find him 1st? why didn't changmin find him 1st?
why the present & the memories mixed together in the middle of the story?
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 08:30 pm (UTC)
hehe ♥ I LOVE when my readers ask me questions ;)

lets see:

Jae was one of the first victims of the newly arising
humankind. they kidnapped him and tried to kill him, because
his existence is "against nature"

there is a hint in this chapter actually:

"Changed mates all over the old world were suddenly endangered, and word spread that furious humans talked about erasing the existence of their changed, immortal lives, which were so obviously against the rules and order of nature and a violation of humankind itself.

Changmin doubted that those humans knew enough about his race or the connection shared between a sacred being and a mate to kill someone like Junsu effectively, but his own missing mate made it very clear to him and a lot of other people, who otherwise would have laughed off the possible danger humans became to their dearly beloved mates, that there were ways to weaken even them.

It maybe wasn't possible to kill them for good, but capturing and hiding their mates away from their other halves for all eternity, away from what made them whole and alive, humans could hurt them, could cut members of the superior race into half, make them bleed internally without ever realizing, until it was too late, until one was only half alive, until keeping them apart was just as good as killing them, and Changmin's heart had beaten so hard and painfully when he had explained this to Yoochun as soon as the man had stepped out the shower."

uwaaah this is long, sorry!!!

Changmin had different reasons why he was so cruel to his mate. First of all: Changmin is a
really proud creature. so having a mate as ugly as Jae was a huuuuuge shame in his eyes.He
actually DOES love or better: care, for Jaejoong. But his pride, the searing embarrassment that
HE an ELITE NOBLE of the sacred race has a SAVAGE as his mate...you know what it did to his
relationship with Jae :(

How Yunho did- and how Changmin did not find Jaejoong first will all be answered in chapter 4 :)
so I really can't tell you much about that right here haha ♥

Memories are always written in italic. I think it's important to have them suddenly, like...
out of nowhere inside the story, because they really ATTACK Changmin from the depth of his
mind. I f somehow possible, I really want my readers to feel like Changmin :)

you're lovely and not whiny and bitchy at all ♥
thank you for your questions, if something is still unclear (since I kinda suck at explaining
things) don't hesitate to ask me more :)
[identity profile] takelo14.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 05:10 am (UTC)
Wow... This chapter was amazing.... PURE BLISS! thank u for updating my fav fanfic I've ever read (and I've read ALOT!)
Please update soon :3
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 08:18 pm (UTC)
hi hunnie ♥ glad you're still with me :)
this is your favorite? woooow, I'm blushing,
thank you so much!!!

btw. I love your Jae-icon.
the Jae in Find Me looks exactly like this,
and I mean it. EXACTLY like this haha:
light brown-ish hair, pail and a bit vulnerable and
frail looking. god, he's so presh ♥
I love your icon!!!

thank you so much for still following this, even though
the last update was month ago :)
(no subject) - [identity profile] takelo14.livejournal.com on September 30th, 2010 03:12 am (UTC) Expand
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[identity profile] harmonemmy.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 06:54 am (UTC)
omg. This is SOOO GOOD! I desperately want to know what happens. I read this right before I went to bed last night, and when I thought about it today, I knew I had to comment. So update soon, okay?
[identity profile] abcdefghiluvyou.livejournal.com on September 29th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC)
thank you ♥ :)

waaaah I'm so glad to hear that it didn't
let go of you so easily haha. that means you
were really into the story, I'm happy ♥

thank you so much for reading and deciding to
comment :) it motivates me so much!!!